The garden

Last year.

Yesterday!

Poetic

At breakfast this morning, we were talking about how bees make honey. Zadie then narrated the thoughts of a bee for me, and I thought it was so lovely, I put some line breaks in so that it looks like what it sounds like; a poem.

Here, people.
Here is honey.
I made it for you.
I made it myself.
I lived in the forest
a long time ago
and never came back
where the wind blows.

Spoiling addendum

I totally forgot to add several things... Sweetie got Z a beautiful stone bracelet at the Smithfield Gallery, where he also spoiled me by getting me some lovely sea glass earrings and a really cool necklace (photos soon, I think). He also bought me some books. From my father-in-law, I got a turquoise necklace, a lovely scarf, a table runner, a crystal Christmas ornament, and some saffron, all from Iran. Also from Iran, for Zadie, are the Sara doll, two pretty cotton dresses, and a pants-and-shirt outfit replete with beading and flowers.

Maryam also made Zadie two pairs of clip-on earrings. She has yet to wear them because she's afraid they're going to hurt. But I know I'll convince her soon, and we'll have pictures of her in her first dangly earrings.

Pic-a-palooza

Okay, a few things I forgot to mention, then some pictures. I actually got to see a movie! Sweetie watched Z on Wednesday night while Maryam, Maddy and I went to see Date Night. It wasn't spectacular, but I thought it was funny. In fact, I laughed my ass off during the outtakes in the credits. Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are just funny.

We all spoiled the bejeezus out of Zadie. In fact, today in the grocery store, she asked for a balloon, a flag, a pink cake and an unspecified "treat." I decided I'm not buying her anything for a while, just on principle. Aunt Maryam wanted to buy her a tutu, so we went to a used kids' clothing store, where there were adorable tutus with silk flower petals inside. Zadie wanted pink of course. Oh, and there were pink marabou-trimmed tiaras, so she got one of those as well. And while we were there, I saw some Keens that were affordable (well, as Keens go) and pink. I bought them. Sometimes Z is strangely fickle about shoes, but she LOVES her Keens and wore them every day for the rest of our trip.

Then we went to Target where Maryam bought her her very own Barbara. We were going to let her choose whichever one she wanted (there were some mermaids and fairies with pink and purple hair that were awesome), and I ultimately sort of steered her towards an olive-skinned, brunette Barbara that we named "Layla." We refer to her as Layla Barbara. Sweetie also bought her some accessories and another outfit.

The next day, we went to a kids' store called Bambini. It would have been easy to drop $200 in there, and if you look on my Flickr page, you may run across some pictures I took on the sly of some items I really wanted so I could remember the names and order them later. Anyway, I got a little toy that Z could give to baby Aidan, and Sweetie got her some space flash cards, a "Good Night Oregon" book, and a really badass octopus shirt.

Carousel excitement,


Not a great photo, but it shows her new tutu. She was doing a dance at Smith Family Bookstore.


Big girl drinking cocoa at the Beanery.


"Driving the yellow taxi car" with cousin Maddy.


She has always loved to swing.


Many of us.

(Top row, left to right: Bruce, Jacob, Maryam with baby Aidan, Sweetie, me & Zadie. On the couch: Maddy, Katie, Michelle and Kellen.)

The aforementioned octopus shirt.


One of three trips to the ramen-ya.


This is Jacob's girlfriend Leilani. She is really sweet to Zadie and Zadie LOVES her.


She had her own ice cream at Prince Puckler's, but she liked Daddy's, too.


At the baseball game.


Mama made a daisy chain. It broke.


Tutu, tiara, bracelet, rock star pose.


We found her in all kinds of funny positions and places while she slept.


Showing off Layla Barbara.


Krazy about Kellen.


Swinging with Maddy.


At the volleyball courts.


This is Sara Barbara, a doll her grandpa brought back from Iran. She comes with her own manteau.


This is at Valley of the Rogue park, where we stopped for a picnic lunch on the way up.


Just thought this one pretty well captures my baby.

Sacra-mementoes

Oh, where to begin? Frankly, the last several days have passed in a haze of fun, good food, family, kids, video games, baseball, the park, and some booze...

Here are the highlights, as there's no way I can get it all down. Wednesday night was quiet -- I made pasta salad. On Thursday, we went to Kellen's little league game and had a great time running around and making daisy chains. I taught Z the only cheer I know ("Rah, rah, sis-boom-bah"), and she couldn't decide whether she'd rather be a baseball player or a cheerleader, so she said she was a baseball leader. Afterwards a few of us went for ice cream at Prince Puckler's. It's kind of a hard call -- in Sacramento, Gunther's doesn't have quite the same variety (I ended up with a scoop of coffee-chocolate-cinnamon), but I think the texture is a touch creamier. But to even give Gunther's a run for its money, it'd have to be pretty darn good.

On Friday we went to the Beanery for scones/muffins and coffee, and it was a Toshi's day as well. I believe this is the day Sweetie and I got to go shopping (well, bookstore-ing) by ourselves. We picked up several homesteading types of books, and I told him he was going to drift off to sleep to the sounds of me asking "Have you ever thought about keeping bees? Should we make our own cheese?" I also got a cool Alice in Wonderland art book.

On Friday evening we went to Roaring Rapids pizza, which has pretty good pizza for a place with a play area, you know? Way better than Chuck E Cheese. Zadie had a blast, but the funniest part was the carousel. She went on it four times. The first three times, she insisted on sitting in the chariot (on a bench) instead of on a horse. She wanted to ride, but looked more or less nonplussed by the adventure. But the fourth time, just as the place was closing, she finally agreed to get on a horse. And she had a blast!! As soon as it started going up and down, she began yelling "I'm on a horse! I'm going over a speed bump! I'm having fun!" Then she laughed and laughed (and not her frequent maniacal giggle, either).

On Saturday, we made plans with my ex-brother-in-law for breakfast at Brail's. We were supposed to see our friend Kay, but she had a family emergency and couldn't make it. Instead, we dragged the family around to game stores, the Saturday market, and the shops downtown. The Saturday market is... different. To be honest, I quite liked it, although I feel ashamed that I do, since Sweetie says it contains three things he hates most -- hippies, crowds, and shit-peddlers. He's right, too. Two entire park blocks are taken up with vendors, many selling tie-dye shirts or creepy-faced gnome dolls, but some with fancy soaps, cute handmade kids' clothes and hats, jewelry, Ren-Faire-esque shoes, and even adorable kids' furniture. Then right next to those blocks are farmers' market vendors, including tons of food like pasties, fresh breads (sourdough chocolate cherry what?!), and a place with a veggie plate that looked incredible. We hit a few other cute shops, then headed back to Maryam's.

I wanted lunch, so M and I walked to the Humble Bagel, a place Sweetie and I have stopped many times, just not on this trip. I had a yummy sandwich, but I was really jealous of Zadie's PB&J on a cinnamon-raisin bagel. It was art.

Every day, I had been taking Z to the flat for a nap. It took time out of our day, and I was sorry for that, but we were keeping her up awfully late -- I thought I'd better stick to a routine at least a little. By the time Z got up, we had to run to the store for dinner stuff, then head to M's. Maryam and I were making dinner for the family -- she made chicken and rice and I fixed a little plate of feta, bread, and herbs (noon o paneer) and split peas with tomato sauce (khoresht ghemeh*). It took a while for us to get it all together, but then we had a lovely dinner. My niece Katie had been in DC on a school trip all week, but she was back, so it was the whole family together. After dinner, we walked to the park to play "zombies" (hide and seek), but it was really dark, and I was afraid of Z running off, plus Kellen fell and got hurt and Katie lost her necklace, so we called it a night and went back for brownies and ice cream.

This morning we met most of the family at a favorite bakery for breakfast, where we shared coffee and cocoa and warm seeded baguettes and tried not to think about how long it is between visits. I know I've said it before, but Sweetie's family has taken me in so fully, so unquestioningly, so without reservations, that I never feel like an in-law or an outsider in any way. I feel like I have a family there. So it's always sad to leave.

The drive home was mostly uneventful, except for one thing. At about 1 o'clock, I had a tension headache. At about 1:15, it felt like my head was going to explode. At about 1:30, I couldn't think of anything else but someone smashing my skull with an ice pick to relieve the pressure. At 1:45, I started to cry. We pulled over and I took some headache medicine, then got back on the road. For another 20 minutes or so, it changed from pressure to intermittent sharp, stabbing pain, but then it subsided and I've been fine ever since. Sweetie suggested that it might be an altitude issue -- I have a bit of a sinus thing going on, and we dropped 4,000 feet in elevation. I told him "there go my dreams of climbing Everest." Seriously, if that is what a teeny bit of an altitude change can do to you, I'd be on the next yak heading down.

Now we're home and a little melancholy. We've mostly unpacked and Zadie, in her thrill at being in our familiar home again, has pulled every book off the shelf, so I'd better tend to that.

Take care, all.
--CM

Eu-Genius

Until I met Sweetie, the only time I had spent in Oregon was a two-day school trip to Ashland and a few miserable days in the Dalles. Since then, I think I have made six trips to Eugene, a few of which have included a night or two in Portland. I like Portland, though I still don't fell I know it well: on one visit, the cool shops are on Hawthorne. On the next visit, the cool area is Burnside. Then we will visit and Leif will take me to some brewpub in an up and coming neighborhood that was a ghetto on our last visit.

Eugene, on the other hand, I am getting to know. And as it happens, I quite like it. There are drawbacks, certainly; we have at least twice visited during a heat wave, and absolutely nobody has air conditioning. It is muggy, and you can't even escape into a bookstore-- they don't have a/c either. But on the whole, it's a lovely town. The neighborhood where we stay is actual called the Friendly neighborhood (after some historical figure, but still...). It reminds me a bit of one of my favorite parts of Sacramento, East Sac. It has bungalows, little cottage gardens out front everywhere, and hidden patios with adirondack chairs. But it's delightfully hilly, to the point that there are epic overlooks of the city. And it's just wild enough that there are deer grazing on people's flowers. And unlike Sacramento, there are many people who have built planter boxes for vegetable gardens in the front yard or on the sidewalk strip. If I were just a little less respectful of people's property, I could have had any number of pea pods on my walk the other day.

There is also a lot of wonderful wild space. In Sacramento, I know we have it, but we have to kind of seek it out. Here in Eugene, everywhere that my sister-in-law has lived, at least, has been a two minute walk from a giant park that stretches forever. There's a huge pool complex, more than one playground, and tons of space for runners, dogs, bikes, and kids. And unlike some manicured space, a great deal of it is just meadow, with wildflowers and grasses growing everywhere.

There is also a real presence to the university. Even in Berkeley and Davis, I don't see nearly so many university stickers on cars. I swear, every third car here has a U of O sticker, and anywhere you go in town, someone will be wearing licensed Ducks gear. And the madness for track is astounding. You can't get a cup of coffee without staring at Prefontaine's mug or a portrait of the guy who first made sneaker tread with his waffle iron (seriously).

I really like the dining and shopping options, too. There's Cafe Yumm, which has about 29 versions of a beans-rice-salsa bowl, but fresh and delicious. Metropol has fantastic fresh breads and pastries. Allann Brothers has wonderful coffee and pastries. Toshi's Ramen is the most amazing ramen ever (and if you have kids, a side of just plain noodles is $1.50). We've had wonderful meals at the Glenwood, bagels from the Humble Bagel... Gosh, what else? I love the store Down to Earth, which has garden supplies, fancy kitchen goods and dishes, canning stuff, compost bins, books... There seems to be an abundance of locally owned bookstores, and we have several favorites. We went yesterday to Bambini, which carries cloth diapers, fleece jammies, adorable expensive clothes, and natural learning toys.

And at least where we tend to go, there are way more little locally-owned shops than strip malls. Even their grocery stores are pretty awesome -- Market of Choice is like a slightly cheaper Whole Foods. I love that store so much I emailed them to see if they would come to Sacramento. (No.)

Okay, we're getting ready to play a board game, so I've got to run, but I'll post again later wi our most recent adventures.

More-egon

Let's see... I suppose I ought to re-read the last one so I know where I left off. Ah, well. On Monday evening, we went to Ocean Sky for Chinese food. This is a case where reading Yelp would have been helpful, as most of the reviews mention that the portions are huge. Everyone ordered a platter of their favorite dish, and each dish was about enough for four people. It was great, though; they had one of the best preparations of eggplant I've ever had.

Yesterday was a fairly relaxed day. We had scones and fruit and coffee at Allann Bros, then retreated to Maryam's for the day. Zadie and I took a nap at one point, then made a quick trip for diapers. We all ate pb&js for lunch (thanks, Bruce!), and hung out until the evening, when everyone reconvened and we had pizza, then went to watch and play volleyball. Zadie wanted to run around the area where the athletes practice hurdles and long jump and whatnot. It was almost empty, so i let her, but at one point she shinnied under a fence and ran onto the track where a runner was practicing sprints. I had to go around the fence, so I didn't get to her in time, and she totally ran into his lane and he had to come skidding to a halt. Eugene calls itself track town, so I think getting in the way of a runner is like a cardinal sin. We apologized profusely.

This morning we went to Vero for coffee and oatmeal/waffles, and I am not entirely sure what else we will do today, other than maybe some shopping and another ramen lunch.

I thought being around her cousins might lead Zadie to pick up some phrases i don't like (a favorite around here is "shut it"), but in fact, I think she's actually getting a positive verbal boost. She is sounding really conversational all of a sudden. She's telling stories, posing creative solutions to mysteries, and really constructing some interesting sentences. For example, this morning she said "Can I have something?" I said she could: she coukd have M&Ms if she used the potty. She said "Well, I was thinking about gum." Last night we saw the moon, and it was about 3/4 full. She asked where the crescent moon was. We explained that it was the same moon, but sometimes we could see more of it. She said "I think it is broken. I think a monster got it. A monster took a bite of it." I mean, come on, dude; that's at least at good as any mythology I've ever heard.

She is having a lot of fun with her cousins: she is especially fond of Kellen, the youngest. We have some sweet pictures to post later of her giving him a kiss. It's funny how her little Zadie-isms catch on, too. Everyone around here is now calling Barbies Barbaras. She also loves her aunts, and whenever we leave for the evening to go to bed, she says "I need my aunties!"

All for now. I hope everyone is well. Take care.

Or-again

Having fun. Short post due to energetic child. Last night was a late but delicious dinner, then we headed home to bed. We slept in, and after we got ready, we went to the Beanery for breakfast and coffee/ cocoa. At auntie's house, we gathered some cousins and a dog and went to a nearby park. We played for a long time, then got back just in time to go to Toshi's Ramen. Then back the rental for a nap. Now we are trying to keep Z from running in the street or loosing crickets.

Oregon trail

Short post as I'm not yet used to the iPad keyboard. We left Sacramento at 6:08 am on the road to Oregon. It was an easy drive with little traffic, and we stopped for a nice lunch in Valley of the Rogue park, then Zadie slept most of the rest of the way. We checked in a bit early to our place, discovered that my air compressor for the air mattress is broken, and we decided to just let Z sleep on a cushion instead. Then we got together with family, hung out for a while, and headed to my sister in law's for lubia polo (tomato-y rice with green beans).

Best bits so far: she has really enjoy playing with the "Barbaras" at her cousins' house, climbing the ladder to the bunk bed, eating all the snacks she has been offered, and generally getting attention. At the park where we stopped, she saw something and yelled "what am I looking at?" Not seeing anything unusual, I said "I don't know, what?" She said "the phones! In cages!" They were phone booths.

Today we started with a walk, then we went to Metropol for bread and pastries and coffee, then walked to the park (apologies in advance: all photos will be posted once we get home), and now we are mostly dinking around. Tonight we're making dinner here at my sister in law's. I'm so glad we're here, even though we are missing Father's Day. A special shout-out to my dad and my boompah, who are my awesome fathers day dudes.

Sweetie gets his own line: thanks for being a great dad to our daughter.

Analogy

We are waiting at Toyota for my car to get serviced. Zadie gets a drink at the drinking fountain and announces, "It's like a sink for mouths!" This is why it's so fun to have a toddler; you discover everything again.

A very good finder

The Zadie witticisms just keep on a'rollin.

Today we were in Corti Brothers waiting on deli sandwiches. To kill time, I asked her to help me find the milk. She led me right to the aisle, then walked down the aisle without pointing out the milk. Thinking she had gotten distracted, I said "Oh, but we still haven't found the milk!" She said "Well, I will help you find it. I'm a very good finder." She then led me away from the milk and around the perimeter of the store. 3/4 of the way around, we ran into an employee, who said hello and complimented Zadie on her dress and nail polish. Zadie said "What's your name?" She answered that it was Melinda, and then Zadie said "Would you help me find the milk?" Melinda laughed and started walking us over, asking which kind of milk. Zadie confidently answered "cow milk."

I guess there are different definitions of being a very good finder, huh?

We went to the gym tonight, and she had fun in the child care center. We got home pretty close to bedtime, but she said she was hungry (I think she's growing again -- apparently she's been eating non-stop all day). I asked if she'd like a plum, and she said yes, so I sliced one up. She shoveled about five slices in her face, and then thoughtfully told me "You know, these are good!"

When she finished, I told her it was bedtime, and she really seemed bummed. I said "would you feel better if we had five minutes of couch time?" She said "Yeah, I need couch time. And a little bit of TV. Not too much, Mama." (I guess this is funny to me because she knows I don't want her to watch "too much" TV.)

Sucky day

So, I was 40 minutes late to graduation, couldn't find a parking lot I had enough cash for, finally found one that took credit cards (although their credit card reader turned out to be broken), paid about $14 total to park my car today, and had the worst chain-restaurant dinner I have had in many a year.

But the big bad news was this: My union sold me down the river. The local paper has this hip-hip-hooray article saying we've agreed to furloughs (and by the way, is it completely fucked up that I have to get my information about my own contract from "journalists" rather than my union?). Of course, they've got it wrong. A furlough is commonly accepted to mean a day off without pay. We've agreed to a pay cut. In fact, our school year will be slightly longer. But everyone is "donating" $95 a month back to the district. Less money for the same amount of work.

And sure, it'll save jobs, but not of anyone I know -- it doesn't impact high school one tiny bit, as far as I can tell.

But wait, there's more. Because I am a good person, I might be willing to give up $95 a month to save the jobs of my colleagues, even though they're strangers to me and there's no appreciable benefit to myself. After all, it might make us look better in the media. It might mean that they can work on getting high school jobs back next.

Part of the agreement (that was not reported on anywhere) is a "contribution" of $15/$20 (15 the first year, 20 the second) to a health care trust. So in fact, our pay cut isn't $95 a month; if you add "donations" and "contributions," it's $110-115.

Oh but wait -- elementary teachers work about an hour less a day, but make the same salary as high school teachers. That's fine -- I've never complained about that. But high school teachers also attend a 90 minute meeting once a week that is voluntary, but that we get paid for (in addition to normal teaching time). It's called Common Planning Time. For this 6 hours of work time, I make another $137 per month (less if there are fewer meetings). Elementary teachers don't get this, and perhaps that's not fair. But now, they're not going to pay for that time anymore. That's $137 less per month for me. Add that to the $115 from earlier, and now I'm losing out on $250 per month. To save the jobs of strangers. It doesn't help my students. It doesn't help my colleagues. It doesn't help me. I don't even get any days off.

Could you live on $250 less every month? I could probably make it work, but it would be a big hit to our budget. Hell, that's $5,000 in two years.

If it gets ratified by the union members (which it probably will -- elementary teachers have less to lose, more to gain, and are a much bigger voting block), I lose a fat wad of money.

If it doesn't get ratified, the next news article will read: Greedy bastards won't give up less than $100 a month to save young, motivated teachers.

So it's pretty much a lose-lose situation.


If you're interested, the rest of the deal is more or less this:

It will take longer to get vested in the retirement system. Sucks for people about to retire, but probably necessary.
They will change some co-pays on prescription drug benefits.
They won't give a rebate on prescription drug co-pays anymore (they used to with Kaiser, up to $200).
They'll contribute a smaller amount to the health coverage of retirees who move out of Sacramento.
They'll try to pass a parcel tax.
They'll close schools the whole week of Thanksgiving, but we'll work two other days we used to have off.
They'll let us use those CPT hours towards our professional development required hours.
And of course, the $95 donation and the $15-20 contribution.
There's also some business in there about trying to do stuff quickly and using the savings elsewhere if we somehow get some extra state or Federal money.
In two years, whatever money we're saving on the health plan through the co-pay changes and whatnot will go back into our salaries as a raise (but there's no guarantee as to how much that will be). (Oh yeah, and we haven't had an actual raise since 2005, so don't imagine we're keeping up with the cost of living.)

Anyway, I'm kind of mad at the whole thing. The party line is that "donations" are better than furloughs because they don't affect retirement, and now we have the "moral high ground" in being able to say "we were the only ones who didn't want to shorten the school year. We were looking out for the kids."

I'm also mad because they should have given us the details earlier. They should give people with personal email addresses the information as soon as it's available instead of printing it, copying it, and driving it to school sites (probably could have gotten us the information a full day sooner). If they HAD to drive it around, they should have hit high schools first, knowing that we're on half days and have to go attend graduation ceremonies (giving us less time to review the information and decide and hold a vote). I mean, honestly it's bullshit that I had to learn the details from blogs, Facebook, the KCRA website, and Sacbee.com. They said they used this survey we took in order to negotiate, but the survey didn't say a blasted thing about pay cuts. It was about actual furloughs.

I'm still pro-union, and I'm still glad I'm able to represent my site, but I'm not proud to be the one representing SCTA to my colleagues right now.

Boobies

Zadie was in the shower this morning and said "I'm washing my boobies... then they will grow... then I will nurse a baby, because I'm just like you!"

Cute. Probably prophetic. Made me feel good.

An ugly decision to make

And not even enough information to make it yet.

SCUSD Observer reports some details on the "tentative deal" our district reached with our union.

They say it will keep class size reduction in K-3 (in other words, save elementary teachers' jobs).

In return, each teacher will donate 3 days' worth of pay back to the district. It's not a furlough -- we still have to work. It's a straight up "give-back."

We will have to contribute more to our retiree health benefits package. No information yet on how much or whether it will increase over time.

KCRA says we'd take Thanksgiving week off, but other sources say that's wrong.

KCRA's report also contains this: "Additionally, it is anticipated that this agreement will save many middle and high school counselor positions, initially proposed to be cut," the district said in a statement.

So I know very little about the actual monetary impact to me, and even less about what it will mean for the jobs of my colleagues.

I'm pretty torn, because I've said all along that I don't think furlough days (shortening the school year for kids) is a good idea. And SCTA went to bat for that. On the other hand, I didn't really think we'd go straight to a salary cut.

I mean, I didn't want to take furlough days during the school year, but we work three days outside of the school year -- why not make a trade for those?

And if I'm going to volunteer to donate $1000 to save jobs, I'd feel better about it if my own school weren't still going to be decimated by cuts. Something like 25% of my English department and all but one of our counselors have pink slips. If they do lose their jobs, that will severely impact my job, my school, my students...

And not to be selfish, but if the choice was between unpaid days off and unpaid work days... well... duh.

Yep... the kid's still funny.

While trying to distract her from throwing a fit in a store, I sniffed her and told her she smelled like dill pickles, and that I was going to eat her like a sandwich. I nibbled at her neck, and she squealed happily, "eat my bread!"

On the way to Grandpa John's, she asked whether we could go in the pool. I said it was unlikely today (too cold, not ready for summer yet, didn't have a swim diaper, blah blah), and she quietly started talking to herself, saying "And Grandpa John will say 'Oh, Zadie, do you want to go in my pool?' and I will say 'Oh, yes, thank you, I will.'"

She didn't want to leave Grandpa John's, and on the way home she was crying. She often asks me "are you happy, Mama?" Apparently, she was waiting to be asked, because through her sobs she asked, ever so dramatically, "Do you think I'm happy?!"

She was nursing (yes, any thoughts that we were weaning were apparently premature), and the cat jumped onto the couch next to us. She told her "You can't have boobie, Mina!"

She likes to ask whether I love her given a various set of circumstances. I go on and on, saying things like "I love you when you're sick, I love you when you're cranky, I love you when you're sleeping, I love you when you draw pictures..." Today I wiped a booger off her face and she said "Do you love me when I have boogers? Do you love me when I pick my boogers? Do you love me when I don't have boogers?"

Ugh -- I'm about an eighth of the way through my grading. 'Bye!

Balls

IMG_0646
Originally uploaded by countmockula

C'est Target.

Terrible twos

She's such a handful these days. She can really be sweet -- like when she tells waiters "thank you" without being prompted, or asking sweetly "may I nurse for a minute, please?" -- but she can be rotten, too. She threatens. I don't even know how she figured it out, but she'll say things like "I want to go outside." We'll say "not right now," and she'll say "I'm going to bite you if I can't go outside right now!" And she's so clever that she gets away with stuff sometimes. Like, she'll say "Go..." instead of "go away," because we made the whole phrase a time-out-able offense. Or she'll say "go away," and we'll ask "who did you say that to?" and she'll answer "to Max!" (who is her imaginary elephant friend).

I wrote a note on Facebook today to my students, and I mentioned that they should wait until they're at least 25 (or even better, 30) to have kids. Why? Because parenting is HARD, and I don't know that I had the same level of patience ten years ago. Let's use today as an example.

We went to breakfast, where she promptly crawled under the bench to another table, blew bubbles in her water, bashed the pepper grinder against the window, screeched, asked to go potty, where she didn't need to go, then wiggled around while I tried to get her diaper on, touched everything in the germy bathroom, immediately asked to go again, shrieked some more, yelled "I have to go potty" in the stranger behind us's ear, and screeched so frequently that we had to wait outside, where she repeatedly tried to yank my shirt off and licked me.

Then we went to some friends' house, where she yelled at another girl to go away, spat whipped cream onto the carpet, and worst, colored all over the computer keyboard with highlighter.

At home, she pulled the phone by the cord, backing up until it reached its limit. While I yelled "No! Don't back up! Don't..." she backed up further, causing the (expensive, cute, Pottery Barn) phone to crash to the floor, and likely to break.

But I have to admit that she's crazy fun, too. Yesterday, she noticed my laptop was in a cushioned case (I had taken it to work). She asked why it was in the case, and I answered "to protect it." She immediately asked, "from enemies?" She also told Mom's neighbor about Fancy Nancy. The neighbor said, "I'm sorry, hon, but I don't know who Fancy Nancy is." Zadie said "she's a character!" (I have no idea, for the record, where she is learning about characters or enemies, or for that matter, "bad guys," which is what she called the singer of Sweetie's death metal music in the car today, e.g. "What are the bad guys singing?")

She absolutely loves to pretend to be other people. She is Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, Sacagawea (anyone want to take credit for that?), Evita (ahem, that was me), Beyonce (me again), Rapunzel... gosh, I can't even keep track. Tonight at bedtime, she told me she was Sleeping Beauty. I said "Okay, then I am the spell-caster, and you prick your finger, and now the sleeping spell is on you." She said "I'm blowing it off!" and started vigorously blowing on her finger.

I've had a lot going on this weekend, and I still have things to do, so I have to get moving, but take care, all. I hope you're well.

Typical dinner conversation

Tonight at dinner time, we were talking about our upcoming trip. Zadie asked if she would see Grandpa John. We said no, but asked which grandpa she would see. She said "Grandpa Hussein!" I said "Well, Grandpa HO-ssein." Sweetie chimed in, "He's HOssein in the membrane."

Sweetie was describing something as 300 feet, then told Zadie that was "over 150 Papa Bears." I looked at him skeptically. I said "150 Papa Bears?" "Yeah." "300 feet?" "Yeah." "300 feet is 150 Papa Bears." "Yeah." "Uh, are they standing shoulder-to-shoulder or laying head-to-toe?" "Yeah, head-to-toe." "And there are 150 of them?" "Yeah." "At what point in this conversation did you figure out the math and just decide to deny?" "Pretty early on, actually."

Zadie announced, "I'm sick." I said "sick how?" She said "I got sick!" I said, "Oh, that's too bad, because we were going to go to Big Spoon for some yogurt." Sweetie adds, "Sick girls can't go get yogurt." I emphasize the point; "Only healthy, well, non-sick girls go get yogurt. So how are you feeling?" She thinks for a moment and says, "But when we are sick we get vanilla yogurt to make us feel better."

We were cajoling Z to eat a little more pizza, and she asked why. I said "Because it's important to get vitamins and minerals... and whole grains... and roughage... and anti-oxidants... and lycopene..." Sweetie jumps in -- "and tooterotica!" I look at him funny and say "That sounds like those videos of ladies farting on cakes*." He gives me an even crazier look and says "I don't know your internet."

*You probably should not Google that.

Feelin' awesome

Well, here we are in June. Sacramento's weather has been quite weird: it was rainy and cold and winter-y almost all the way through May. For almost a whole month, it was cold and gray and sometimes stormy all week, then sunny on the weekends. And then were were some strange, muggy days, and now finally it's back to normal -- close to 90, clear, and dry. I like it.

Over the last 4 weeks, I've been collecting, reading, marking, grading and conferencing on my students' essays -- 46 kids, 2 papers, 2 drafts each. I have one more draft of each to read, but I sort of have a week off, and it feels nice.

I'm reading Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. It's really fascinating. I typically read a lot of contemporary fiction, but I do read non-fiction as well, and this is a fantastic read I'd recommend to anyone with an interest in psychology or just human nature.

I'm totally excited for a trip to Eugene coming up soon. And it looks like I'm going on a road trip with Monkeygirl and the kid in July, too, down to San Diego. Cool, huh?

There are a few things I want to do around the house this summer. I don't think I'm going to paint, but I want to get a new toilet, a new built-in cutting board, an umbrella for the backyard, and maybe a rug and ceiling fan for the back porch to make some outdoor living space. Sweetie also suggested a ceiling fan for the kitchen, which is a great idea -- the room has always been the warmest one in the house. Even after we got the new A/C, sometimes it can swelter. But the big plan, the first on our list, is to call a plumber and figure out what the hell is wrong with the pipes. Our water pressure in the kitchen is a trickle, and the water in the bathtub comes out as orange as Tang. That can't be good.

Okay, also... I've been super-busy with school. I can't seem to say no to anything (well, not true -- I actually said no to an all-evening Key Club banquet and dance and to Senior Awards night, but only because I'd NEVER see my family if I hadn't said no to those). I judged senior projects. I chaperoned a banquet/dance. I helped pick the salutatorian. I will be coaching the salutatorian and valedictorians. I hosted and chaperoned a poetry reading. Frankly, I can't even remember all I've been doing lately. I'm a little worn out, and I'm really looking forward to summer.

Zadie's a doll. And I don't mean to harp on this, but she's SO smart! It's really freaky, in a way. She got a new book today with big vocab words in it. I read her the word "expedition" and told her what it meant. I asked her if she could think of an expedition we were going on, and she came up with an example. Then I asked if she could make her own sentence with the word, and she did. I mean... she's TWO! What the heck? Obviously, as a two-year-old, she's sometimes challenging. She manipulates, she threatens, she uses mean words... sometimes she hits. But she can also be really sweet and polite. Without prompting, she told our waiter at dinner "thank you" several times. She told me today I looked beautiful. She doles out compliments to strangers, often on their shoes. She's just a kick in the pants. My grandma sent some books today, and they're a series that Z really likes. Zadie literally jumped off her chair when she saw them and started shrieking happily, running around the house. We said "Okay, Zadie, well come back to the kitchen now." She replied, "But I'm so excited!"

We had a really fun weekend, too. On Friday evening, we ordered pizza from OneSpeed, which delivers by bike. After we ate, we went outside, where our neighbors were just gathering on the lawn. We brought a pitcher of sangria, and we all talked, ate cherries our newest neighbors brought, watched the kids play, and stayed out past dark.

On Saturday, we cleaned, then I went and got my brows done, and they were selling the prettiest little hair geegaws, so I got several -- for me and Zadie, and for some gal friends of mine. That afternoon, we went to some friends of mine's home for a barbecue, and we had a ball. They have a pool, and Zadie was just charming and excited, and she really had fun. The next morning, she said "We should go to Jen and Jon's house. They like me."

Sunday is waffle morning, and Monkeygirl joined us for our farmer's market/playground run. That afternoon, we did a bunch of errands with Mom, and then had dinner at Roxy (which continues to delight me on every visit).

I think that about covers what's on my mind. Now check out these pics.






Ignore my gym clothes, please.


I vote that this is the one we show her prom date.

Auntie Monkeygirl walked us to breakfast

IMG_0638
Originally uploaded by countmockula

Cute, huh?