Santa Cruz, part two (delayed!)

On Wednesday morning, we went to Kelly's French Bakery for breakfast. Sweetie loves to get a seeded baguette and a latte, I had a fruit and yogurt dish (though I stole some of the bread), and Z had a pastry. In the same little complex is a grocery store, where we picked up a bag full of snacks, and then we went to Seymour Marine Center.

I've talked this place up before, so I'll spare you some of the details (Z still will not touch the shark), but it had been a while since we took the free tour, so I signed myself and Z up for it. They start you at the statues of the elephant seals and talk a bit about them, then you walk to a gray whale skeleton and talk about whales and baleen for a while (they pass around two kinds of baleen to touch). Then you go through a gate, where you have to be quiet and promise not to take pictures. It's a research facility, and we got to see two dolphins and a monk seal that they keep there. One thing I heard this time that I thought was funny (and didn't remember) is that both dolphins had been used by the Navy in training experiments (I knew that part), and that both would were very compliant, and would do literally anything they were asked to. Except that one of them would not leave the bay, and, as our docent explained, "you can't drag a dolphin," so he ended up not being particularly useful. The other one would also do anything... except come back home at night, and "you can't drag a dolphin..."

Anyway, we had a nice time, then we drove just down the road to Natural Bridges again. It was another lovely day, with the exception of a little wind that had kicked up so that sand blew in our faces. I went tide pooling with Z and saw (although I didn't know it until later) an egg ribbon from a Monterey sea lemon.

When we were done with the beach, we went back to the hotel to rest and clean up, and then we walked downtown for a final dinner. There's a sushi place that we've passed dozens of times in a kind of strip mall a block from the main drag. Given that we've tried a few sushi places in town and never been blown away, we really didn't give this place a second thought. But I had recently caught up with a friend I've known since fourth grade (!) who used to live in Santa Cruz, and he recommended it. Oh man! I think we finally have another dinner joint locked in. Not only did they have a ton of veggie rolls, they had two combination platters of veggie rolls so that you could sample three at a time, but only get half a roll of each. I had the #2 combo this time, but next time, I'll try the other. They had some odd things in them, like macadamia nuts, but they also had very traditional sushi, and my favorite was the shiso, ume, and yamaimo roll (shiso is an herb, ume is pickled plums, and yamaimo is like a yam). My esteemed dining companions' dinners looked good, too, especially the kid's plate, which was both generous and inexpensive.

We all saved a little room for ice cream, and we went to Mission Hill Creamery, whose list of flavors had caught our eye earlier. They had really interesting flavors, like plum-zinfandel sorbet. We all got something delicious.

In the morning, we headed once more to Cafe Brazil. Sweetie is developing a whole theorem on how to get the most out of multiple visits to that place. I need to find salsa Lizano around here somewhere, is what needs to happen. I could make scrambled eggs and tortillas and rice, and I could probably even fry up some plantains, but it's the sauce that makes it.

Then we hit the road! We drove to San Francisco to go to the Academy of Sciences. They have a new skulls exhibit, which we checked out first. Z was not as fascinated by it as we were (and in fact, she was a little grossed out that Sweetie touched a skull, and she wouldn't hold his hand all day).

We next went through the rainforest exhibit, an enclosed, humid, three-story structure that you walk up via a spiral ramp. At each level is something new to look at -- butterflies, birds, pitcher plants, snakes, poison dart frogs -- and finally you have to check yourself for butterfly hitchhikers before you leave. You exit through the aquarium, where we spent a great deal of time. Then we walked kind of willy-nilly through the other exhibits, Africa and earthquakes and hissing cockroaches, oh my! We had never done the planetarium show with Z -- probably, she was too little last time -- so we did it this time. It was cool! The effects were kind of amazing, to the point that once or twice I felt like I was moving. It was narrated by Neil Degrasse Tyson, who is one of Z's heroes, and it was all about dark matter and dark energy. It likely went over her head, but it actually explained it in a way that I could understand it (which I admit, I never really did before). I think the most interesting part was about two-thirds through, when they turned off the audio track and a live guy narrated for a while. Not because he was especially great, but because (as Sweetie and I agreed later) they were probably updating it to the most current information.

We stayed basically until it closed, then settled in for the LONG drive home. It's not that far from San Francisco to Sacramento, but leaving SF at 5pm on a weekday is... well, we could have planned that better.

Pictures follow!

This was the early rangers walk. Z is considering a career in rangering, so she had to ask how often he has run across bears. 

After finishing a scavenger hunt, she got a pacific sand dab trading card and a hand stamp. 

Beach beauty. 

Tidepooling. 

My egg ribbon. I had to ask my friends via Facebook what it was, and there were about 20 dick jokes before a marine biology guy jumped in. My people. 

When these two aren't getting on each other's last nerve, they are best friends. That's my favorite.

Santa Cruz

I'd better start writing before I forget everything!

We skipped town on Sunday in the late morning and drove straight through to Santa Cruz, making good time until we hit traffic outside of San Jose. We stopped for gas (and a potty break), but still managed to make it in about 2 1/2 hours. The hotel wasn't quite ready for us to check in, so Sweetie waited on the hotel pool deck and Z and I went to a nearby playground. After settling in a bit, we walked downtown, then to Saturn Cafe for dinner. On the way back, we stopped at a candy shop called It'Sugar and Z spent a little of her pocket money on Everlasting Gobstoppers. We swam a bit before bed.

In the morning, we went to Cafe Brasil (one of the things we look forward to most), where Sweetie and I both had Gallo Pinto (a rice and bean dish served with eggs, tortillas, fried plantains, and a delicious vinegary sauce called Salsa Lizano. We came back to the hotel to grab sunscreen and beach toys, then went to Natural Bridges State Beach. At 10:30, there was an "Early Rangers" program on wetlands, frogs, and toads. It was mosty much younger kids, and Z was a little obnoxious about knowing all the answers. She even told us today that she showed the ranger the path to the pond, although she admitted he might have already known about it. Still, it was a nice little walk, and she was actually really good around the little guys -- one kept grabbing her binoculars and alternately trying to shove them into Z's eyes or rip them off Z's head. But she would say "No, thank you" and try to gently protect herself. I was proud.

After the walk, we went down to the beach and stayed for about three hours. It was really nice out. Z and Sweetie mostly hung out and let me lay on the beach and read. They explored, made sand castles, looked for shells, and dodged the waves (but not very well -- she got soaked!).

We then came home, showered and changed, and went down to Pacific Avenue. Z and I needed a snack, so Sweetie went to look at comics without us. We met him over there, then we did some book shopping. We looked around a touch more, then settled for dinner at Pono Hawaiian. It was pretty good! Sweetie had a spicy poke bowl and kahlua pork, and I had an edamame and mac nut hummus wrap. Z had a burger and fries -- not too exciting. After dinner, we grabbed a scoop of ice cream, then came back and swam for a while before bed.

Today we went to a coffee shop we like and had pastries and coffee and cocoa, then we did a bunch more shopping. Mostly we just got little things, but I also got Z's back-to-school sneakers. We got a few more books at the used book store as well. We wandered back to the hotel and split up -- Z and I to the Boardwalk, and Sweetie staying behind. I was excited to take the trolley that shuttles people between downtown and the Boardwalk. I was hoping to check out the new Marine Sanctuary, but it was closed today. The Boardwalk was a bit of a bust -- Z didn't care for her lunch, then didn't want to ride on any of the rides without me, and of course I can't ride. Finally, she went on the Swinger and we went together on the Ferris Wheel. We came back to the hotel and swam some more, then had a nice dinner at the hotel restaurant. Z seems really tired tonight, so we're retiring. So far, so good. I have lots of pictures, but it's not easy to add them with the technology I brought.

Take care,
CM

On "rape culture"

Last week, I read an article about a 16-year-old named Jada who had gone to a party, been given a drink by the young male host, and then blacked out. Later, she discovered pictures of herself being sexually assaulted at the party. Worse, her classmates and others were taking pictures of themselves, mocking the way she lay, arms and legs akimbo while unconscious, with the hashtag #Jadapose. It even got turned into a song.

On Saturday, I read a column by Ben Boychuk arguing against a Senate Bill requiring college students to obtain "affirmative consent" for sex, because (in his opinion) schools don't investigate sexual assault because there probably hasn't been any! Further, there are plenty of ways to address sexual assault already, and probably some of those women are lying anyway. Plus, rape is already a crime.

Then yesterday, I read the story of Anna, a college freshman who went to a frat party, had some drinks, then texted a friend several "get me out of here" messages. The friend came looking for her and found her being violated in a public place. He helped get her home, and when she realized what had happened (she also blacked out), she had a medical evaluation. The sexual assault nurse found evidence of "blunt-force trauma" and semen in and around her vagina and rectum. She was encouraged to report the assault to school authorities, who convened a panel and cleared the football players involved in just 12 days, without ever considering the medical evidence (two thirds of the panel never even were made aware there was medical evidence).

Perhaps you can see why the Boychuk article rubbed me the wrong way.

Early in his column, he complains about the dangers of needing to get

“ongoing” “affirmative consent” throughout “a sexual activity.”Just imagine the complications. Did she say “yes”? Be certain now. Did you get it in writing? Maybe you should have. Were you drinking? Was she? Oh no, that won’t do at all. An intoxicated person can’t consent to anything.

Mr. Boychuk, I don't want to be rude, but ongoing affirmative consent (why the scare quotes, anyway?) just means you've got her saying "yes, baby, yes!" If that's an issue for you, maybe you're the problem.

And let's talk about being drunk. Do people have a glass of wine or a beer, get busy, and still have their faculties? Sure. But in both those cases cited above the girls were so drunk they blacked out. In one case, the girl was unconscious on the floor. Guess what? Those girls could not (and did not) give consent. 

It's possible, as Boychuk asserts, that all colleges have a rape crisis center. But as you can see in the case of Anna, not all colleges take rape very seriously. One thing I left out of the summary of her case above is that the college sent letters to dozens of students naming the victim (not the accused, though -- they're still anonymous). 

Just this week, Sen. Claire McCaskill, D-Mo., released a survey alleging widespread failure among U.S. colleges and universities to arrest this widely reported epidemic of sexual assaults. Among her report’s harrowing details: More than 40 percent of 300 schools surveyed had not investigated a sexual violence claim on campus in the past five years. “Which means,” the senator said, “they’re saying that there have been zero incidents of sexual assault on their campuses in the last five years. That is hard to believe.”
Not as hard to believe as the study’s claim that universities and colleges are failing “to encourage students to report sexual violence.”

Boychuk finds it easy to believe that something like 120 campuses had zero sexual assault? Like... for reals? Ben, let me Google that for you.   Wait, here's another thing you should probably know. I'm not sure how the math works out here, but if 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted, and NONE of them are at those 120 schools (out of the 300 studied), does that mean the rate is something like doubled at the other schools? Perhaps we should warn people! Let's tell women to go attend the rape-free schools!

In reality, women don't report rape for many reasons. One is that their names are dragged through the mud, and they're mocked, stalked, and trolled, like the two women mentioned above. Another is that to do so often involves reliving an ugly experience by being tested with an invasive rape kit in the hospital. Even if they do get the rape kit test, there's a backlog of 400,000 of them that are as yet untested (so it may not do much good anyway). Many rape victims feel re-victimized by the legal system. Many are embarrassed. Many know the justice system will fail them anyway.

You know, home burglaries don't go underreported. At least, not by much, I'd imagine. Here's why: first, when your home is burglarized, there's a chance that if you report it you can get your stuff back. This is not an option with sexual assault, so a lot of women probably think, "Why bother?" But further, when you have your home burglarized, nobody asks you whether your door looked particularly inviting. No one asks whether you often have people over. No one suggests that it's not really that bad a crime, since sometimes you invite people in, and other times you voluntarily give your electronics to e-waste recycling drives. No one talks about the time you invited the Bissel guy in to demonstrate and says, "Oh, he'll open the door to ANYONE." And when the burglars are football stars, you don't just listen to them go, "The house came on to me!" and let them go. 

Boychuk says that there is a "mostly unquestioned claim" that one in five college students are sexually assaulted. I assume that's his shitty way of questioning it. He follows this up by saying that it's, basically, a pretty big number! Uh... yeah. That doesn't mean it's wrong. 

He then starts playing with language, arguing that sexual assault is a meaningless term because it's vague enough to mean "everything and nothing." That's the argument you want to make, Ben? That maybe attempted rape shouldn't count in statistics? Here's one definition of sexual assault -- it's true there are many, but this one from Wikipedia is pretty good: 

Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent.

So non-consensual sexual touching... not a big deal to Mr. Boychuk? Just checking. 

As for the fact that it's already illegal, well... yeah. That doesn't mean that sometimes we don't clarify the wording of a law, or help people understand how to avoid breaking the law. And ultimately, I'm not sure why you would write nearly 800 words arguing against the stance that people probably ought to make sure their sexual partners are willing partners. 

And finally, I know headlines are not always written by the author of an article, but we really need to lay off the scare quotes around rape culture. If you don't understand it, go learn. But don't dismiss it the way we might dismiss "sock gnomes" or something else we don't believe in. 

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2014/07/12/6550454/ben-boychuk-dont-take-away-rights.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2014/07/12/6550454/ben-boychuk-dont-take-away-rights.html#storylink=cpy

The pictures!

I didn't get quite as many pictures as I might like, partly due to being ill on Monday and partly because I didn't want to kill my battery (the app I was using for maps and wait times was helpful, so I was consulting it a lot), but we did get some nice ones.

This was in Cars Land, and for some reason she really wanted a photo here. 

The morning with Grandma.

Jungle Cruise. She was nervous at several points, but as soon as the "danger" passed, she was cool again. 

The iconic photo, right? 

He really enjoys making the teacup go. 

She loved the princesses, hugged every one, and told them how beautiful they were. 

Not a great shot, but she loved this Tarzan treehouse, and went on it three times. 

With breakfast, because it was her birthday trip, they gave her a chocolate cupcake. 

Exiting Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. I did not remember that it took you through Hell!

Chip and Dale. One of them has a red nose. That one is either Chip or Dale. That's how you tell them apart. 

Slushy!

Getting splashed at Grizzly River Rapids.

A view of the hotel lobby.

The gorgeous front doors of the hotel.

The giant Lego store had several big Lego figures.  

Perhaps my favorite: Sweetie and Boompah on the Tower of Terror (back row left and center).