When I was in high school, I joined the choir. I am an adequate singer.
I mean, I think I've said before that after getting kicked out of the performing arts school, I was a pretty big fish in the small pond of my new high school. I was in the regular choir and the smaller performance choir. I loved my teacher, and she did her best to teach us some basic musical notation. I still remember "Every Good Boy Does Fine" and that the notes with just outlines last longer than the filled-in ones. But I cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, read music. She would sing us our parts, or play them on the piano, and I can memorize, so...
In college, I joined the madrigal choir. I passed the auditions for the small group, but then the music issue came up: without reading music, I was falling a bit behind the others at learning the parts. But the other members and the director helped me out, and I got there. We performed before the Shakespeare festival for several weekends (in costume, even!) and it was a lot of fun.
When I was 23 or 24, my friends Skye and Althea and I decided to start a band together. None of us had any musical experience, but Althea's dad played guitar, so she picked guitar. Skye chose drums, and I figured I had decent rhythm and would try the bass. I went to Skip's music, bought a "how to play bass" VHS tape (I know, right?), mastered the first couple lessons ("My Girl" and "Stand by Me
), and was on my way. By which I mean, I'd figured out the fingering and tuning and everything, so I was ready to write songs. And I did. I mean... DIY ethic, right? I played things that sounded good, more or less regardless of key and time signature. It worked, too -- the three of us were a team, so we worked together to make it sound right. We had a lot of fun playing our sort of riot-girl/punk/nerdrock. We broke up around the time I got married, when I was 29.
), and was on my way. By which I mean, I'd figured out the fingering and tuning and everything, so I was ready to write songs. And I did. I mean... DIY ethic, right? I played things that sounded good, more or less regardless of key and time signature. It worked, too -- the three of us were a team, so we worked together to make it sound right. We had a lot of fun playing our sort of riot-girl/punk/nerdrock. We broke up around the time I got married, when I was 29.
After that, I fooled around with my uncle's ever-changing procession of dudes who got together to "jam." Some of that I chronicled here on the blog (anyone remember Jeff the Arhythmic Drummer?). It wasn't hard. The guys would tell me what chords they were playing, and I'd play that root note, sometimes fooling around with the timing, and you know... bada bing, bada boom. Not a great bassist, but I could keep the beat, play a goodly number of songs, and I had a good time.
Somewhere around three years ago, some guys Sweetie works with asked if he played any instruments. Anything. They were desperate! He said no, but his wife did. That's how I joined "Rogue Scholars." They were real musicians. And although I was in it to have fun, my lack of skill started to interfere in certain ways. We'd agree to learn a song, so I'd go home and learn it by looking up the tablature (sort of like sheet music for dummies -- it uses the 1-2-3 system just my Grandma's old frog songs). But then we'd start playing, and it would sound horrible. "Are you playing this in F?" They'd ask? Well, I have no idea!! I'd try hitting a few of the notes one or two frets down, and it would sound better, and so I'd try to re-learn it that way. If you're a musician, you're realizing the problem, I think: not everything benefits from being just moved over one. That shit's complicated.
But I *mostly* got it *most* of the time, and we played a lot and it worked, except when someone would say, "Oh hey, can we try that in E instead?" Because for everyone else, playing a song in a different key is no big deal. For me, it meant days' worth of work re-learning something.
But I *mostly* got it *most* of the time, and we played a lot and it worked, except when someone would say, "Oh hey, can we try that in E instead?" Because for everyone else, playing a song in a different key is no big deal. For me, it meant days' worth of work re-learning something.
The band broke up recently (no major reason other than that we were paying a lot for a rehearsal space, never playing any shows, and kept losing singers). Within the week, a friend at school (like, my very oldest teacher friend -- we sat together at lunch at teacher intern orientation day 16 years ago!) asked me if I could play bass for an upcoming gig for his Star Wars-themed band.
I said no. It was in March, and there was no way I could learn a whole set of new songs by then.
He came back a couple days later and said he was wrong about the date. It was in May. Could I do it? He didn't have music for me to learn from, but I could listen to the songs.
I said no again. I really didn't think I could learn that many songs in two months with no music to work from.
He came back a couple days later and said he was wrong about the date. It was in May. Could I do it? He didn't have music for me to learn from, but I could listen to the songs.
I said no again. I really didn't think I could learn that many songs in two months with no music to work from.
The other member of the Star Wars band then came to my room, practically begging. He would try to make tablature for me. I said yes.
He made the tablature for two songs, and then I got together with my old friend and he showed me how to play about three more, but there were still two more I didn't have music or even a demonstration for. I was on my own. I asked him to send me just the bass track separated out, and I listened over and over, but it's fast, and there's no recognizable pattern (the guy who played it for the recording is some jazz virtuoso) and I have to listen, then try to pluck out the patterns (all without waking the kids)... It's been very frustrating.
The Rogue Scholars were doing covers, so they'd suggest some song and I could just look up the fan-made tab, or even a video tutorial of someone playing it, and the bass track by itself.
As you might imagine, this is not the case for a two-man Star Wars band.
Worse, my old friend is a music guy. Like, he'll give me suggestions like, "you could just play around in B, you know? Maybe throw in a seventh or something? That'd be cool. Hit that third like wee-ooh." The brotha might as well be speaking Old Norse.
So I Googled until I found an app into which I could play that bass track, and it would spit out musical notation, and then I Google stuff like "which key has two sharps" and then I write down which version of Every Good Boy Does Fine I'm working with (because they're not all the same, oh no!). And then I make a handy little key for that, and then I use that key to translate my musical notes into the names of the notes (it's easier to work with tab, but I can at least locate the notes on my fretboard), and then, finally, I will figure out which 6 or 8 notes per measure I can hit and still have the song sound good, leaving out the 27 fiddly jazz bits I can't play anyway, and THEN I will be able to play this one goddamn Star Wars themed rock song.
As you might imagine, this is not the case for a two-man Star Wars band.
Worse, my old friend is a music guy. Like, he'll give me suggestions like, "you could just play around in B, you know? Maybe throw in a seventh or something? That'd be cool. Hit that third like wee-ooh." The brotha might as well be speaking Old Norse.
So I Googled until I found an app into which I could play that bass track, and it would spit out musical notation, and then I Google stuff like "which key has two sharps" and then I write down which version of Every Good Boy Does Fine I'm working with (because they're not all the same, oh no!). And then I make a handy little key for that, and then I use that key to translate my musical notes into the names of the notes (it's easier to work with tab, but I can at least locate the notes on my fretboard), and then, finally, I will figure out which 6 or 8 notes per measure I can hit and still have the song sound good, leaving out the 27 fiddly jazz bits I can't play anyway, and THEN I will be able to play this one goddamn Star Wars themed rock song.
Anyway, the point of this isn't a pity party. I'm very glad to get to make music, no matter how badly I sometimes do it. The point is that I really wish I had learned to read music. It feels like a gap in my education. It is embarrassing to be in a room full of people who can do something well and only do it at the most basic level. (Incidentally, this is why it is futile to invite me to one of those "Ladies' Wine and Painting" nights, unless you need a wine taster.)
The raising two kids and having a job thing makes extracurricular activities kind of difficult to schedule. But someday, I plan to take a music class at community college, and maybe an intro to bass guitar class as well. I feel like I need the fundamentals I skipped past on ye olde VHS tape. I'd love to be able to walk into a room of real musicians, have someone go, "Hey, do you want to just jam in F for a while?" and be like, "Yeah, let's do it!"