I Guess I Was Punk Once

That is what the bumper sticker on my car says. I saw it in Eugene, Oregon, and I had to go online to get myself one. It perfectly encapsulates both my nostalgia and ambivalence.

But in a way, it's not true. In fact, in a way (and hear me out), I think I'm more punk now than when I actually sported blue-green hair, a lip ring, and my 8-hole Docs.

So how is that, you ask? Well, it's like this: I feel that the punk rock ethos is all about living by your own rules, creating the world the way you want it to be, and owning (in a metaphorical sense) the things you "shouldn't" be allowed to own. Punk rock, first and foremost, was about working-class kids who didn't have the money for guitar lessons just picking up a guitar, doing whatever they did to it, and playing something with a raunchy voice and just a few chords. "You thought I couldn't do it, and you wouldn't let me into your club. But here I am, doing it." It's why Sid Vicious covering Sinatra's "My Way" is so perfect.

But I know you're not convinced, because I'm not doing a damn thing that looks punk rock these days. I'm your average soccer mom with a house and a well-paying job with benefits. I make cheese for fun. At the very least, I was more punk when I was actually making punk music.

I know that "subvert the dominant paradigm" is kind of a bumper sticker-y thing to say, but it also strikes me as a punk idea. And the dominant paradigm is consumerism. It's a disposable society. It's having a ticky-tacky house in a neighborhood with CC&Rs. And within that paradigm, making cheese can be pretty damn subversive.

Why? Well, cheese-making is certainly a bit of a trend right now. Sunset Magazine will surely tell you how to do it. But if you are making cheese to avoid buying cheese, you are opting out of the culture at large. If you are making yogurt, growing your own fruits and vegetables, making your own jam, baking your own bread, crafting your own Christmas gifts, buying used clothes from the consignment shops... Well, that shit starts to add up. And what it adds up to, in our case at least, is a conscious shift away from the consumer culture. By participating in Buy Nothing Day instead of Black Friday, we were being subversive.

I follow a blog called Punk Domestics, which is part of what got me thinking about this. That, along with a book I read called Radical Homemaking, struck me as odd pairings. Since when, after all, is being domestic punk? Since when is homemaking radical? But if a big part of punk is saying no to the paradigm, saying you'll do things your way and on your terms, then I think you can approach almost anything with a punk ethos.

Years ago, a kid in a punk band used to hang around with us and come to our parties. He was railing on one night about anarchy -- he wanted to build a little anarchist community, and they would live all by themselves, and if they wanted food or something, they'd just go to a little nearby town and steal what they needed. The inherent problem in his plan, of course, (one of the problems, anyway) is that his version of anarchy still relied on there being a big old capitalist system nearby to leech from.

I participate in that capitalist system. I buy groceries, new clothes sometimes, kitchen goodies -- hell, I interrupted writing this blog post to go add a silicone spoon to my Amazon wish list -- and I am materialistic in certain ways. I love my stuff. But the more we opt out of the capitalist culture, the more we can opt into it in ways that we feel good about: we can go to local restaurants with minimal staff turnover. We can buy directly from the farmers' market. We can support locally-owned small businesses.

Have we sold out a little? Oh sure. We got an education. We have retirement plans. My biggest involvement in the Occupy movement was to take them some water and bananas. But we're also raising a kid who, with any luck, will see that we create our lives in the way we want them to be. We question the way things are done and choose what works for us. We encourage critical thinking in our kid, in our students. And we are making marriage, home ownership, parenting, and our lives work for us, making it all up as we go along.

So maybe once I listened to music real loud, looked more intimidating, wore band patches safety-pinned to my backpack, and spent less time at the playground or in the kitchen. But I don't think a punk mindset will ever be entirely behind me. Well, maybe if I didn't start every morning with The Clash...