Disneyland! (Part 1)

Wow. The last time I went to Disneyland was in the early 80s. I've only been there three times (until now), and one of those, I had pneumonia and did hardly anything, so my memories of it were very sparse. I remember a Yeti on the Matterhorn, the cannons of Pirates of the Caribbean, and seeing a ghost in our reflection in the Haunted Mansion. Even those are hazy -- I thought I was in the Haunted Mansion with my cousin Cristin, but my mom says we never went with those cousins, so who knows?

If you follow my blog here, either you already know me pretty well as a person, or you have learned a pretty good bit about me, but let me reiterate something I think is important. I am an optimist, and probably one of the happiest, most cheerful, almost annoyingly Pollyanna-ish people I know. And I can be a real cynic who is repelled by smarminess, hokum, and crass commercialism. We don't even have commercial TV in the house anymore, but if we somehow spot or hear a commercial, I usually say "Boo! Commercial!"

So I was excited about going to Disneyland, but I was a little worried that it would be, well, hokey and commercial. It mostly wasn't. It was beautiful. At one point, I almost cried at how pretty it all was. That's not to say that the cynic in me completely quieted down, but it was a pretty small wedge of the How-I-Felt-About-Disneyland pie chart.

This trip was a gift from Mom and Boompah to Z for her 6th birthday. We set off on Monday morning pretty early, and the traveling was easy, with one exception -- I had gotten food poisoning! I felt a little queasy the night before in bed, but thought it was just reflux or too big a dinner. But about 5 minutes before our boarding time, I went into the airport bathroom and puked voluminously. I vomited once more in the airplane bathroom, and that was the end of it, but I did feel pretty out of sorts all day. In fact, I still feel kind of terrible that I was an attendee at several expensive meals, and I   ordered a dish, but wasn't able to eat much. Both the raviolis at the Storyteller's Cafe and the corn cakes at Ariel's Grotto were lovely, but I basically ate less than a third of each dish.

Anyway, we got a shuttle to the Disney Grand Californian, which was jaw-droppingly beautiful. It's apparently modeled after the Ahwanee in Yosemite, but it's enormous. The attention to detail is flabbergasting -- there's wallpaper that coordinates with the borders and marble floors whose patterns meld into plush carpeting and reproduction Stickley tables in the lobby and Tiffany-styled lamps and just... EVERYTHING. The light fixtures and the wall texture and the elevator doors... It was the most aesthetically pleasing hotel I've ever been in, and luxurious and quiet to boot. They even had a bunch of kid-sized Stickley-styled rockers in front of a TV in the lobby that played old cartoons. Z loved that.

Wait, have I not even gotten past the hotel yet? Maybe this is going to have to be a two-parter. We went first to California Adventure. I wasn't sure how big the parks were or where they were located or anything, so I didn't know it was so easy to go back and forth, and I had thought we'd to CA one day and Disneyland the other two. As it was, we switched back and forth a great deal. Sweetie and Z went first to the race cars in Cars Land, which is apparently a very popular feature. I found a shady place to sit and mostly just did so. By the time they were done (she had a blast), I wasn't feeling that well, so I went back to the hotel. They stayed on and explored A Bug's World, and then someone gave them FastPass tickets for Grizzly Rapids, so they were excited to go back and do that.

By late afternoon, Mom and Boompah had arrived as well and done some exploring, and everyone came back to the hotel for a bit. Sweetie and Z were talking about going to the hotel pool, and I felt revived enough to at least change into a suit and sit poolside. There are three pools and a spa at the hotel, and one had a couple waterslides, including a charming little one with about a 10% incline for the little ones. Zadie played on the waterslide and chatted the ear off a non-English speaking little girl.

Then she and Sweetie went on their ride, and Mom and Boompah made dinner reservations for us all at the Storyteller's Cafe, and I rested just a bit more. The restaurant was also beautiful, and I had a lovely-looking dinner (I ate about two ravioli), and the service was impeccable. Because it was kind of a late evening, we retired after that.

On Tuesday, we sort of took advantage of having the "magic hour" early admission. That is to say, we woke up a little late, and then we wandered through Downtown Disney first, when if we were smart, we would have made a beeline to the gates. The first thing we did was get Sweetie, Z, and Boompah passes for Indiana Jones. We then sat down at a cafe and had some breakfast -- my appetite was returning! I ate the head and one ear of a Mickey Mouse pancake, plus a couple pieces of fruit.

While they went on the ride, Mom and I did a little shopping and looking around. I was surprised to find that the little gift shops in every area were thematic to the area! You probably know this, but nearly everything about Disneyland was a revelation to me. I told Sweetie that I was kind of expecting it to be like a bigger, better version of the state fair midway, where every vendor has the exact same crap. But not at all! The Adventureland area (where they have the Tiki Room and Jungle Cruise) has safari-print Mickey dresses. The area with the camp-type stuff sells camp blankets. It was SO commercial, but so skillfully so, I kind of forgave it!

We all went on the Jungle Cruise together, and while it was fun, this was one of the more troubling aspects of our experience. I mean, I'm sure there have been editorials and articles about this sort of thing, but let's just say that watching a rhino poke a big-lipped black guy in the butt as he tries to climb a tree was probably funnier back in the racist good old days. When we passed the African tribesmen that our guide proceeded to speak to and translate for (with a stream of gibberish and tongue-clicking), Sweetie and I gave each other the "did that really just happen?" look. While we were there, people of every ethnicity seemed to be enjoying the park, and there are certainly nods to multiculturalism ("It's a Small World" is one), but it was kind of unnerving. It was like the whole place was so steeped in nostalgia that it was largely unobservant of the actual melting pot of modern-day reality.

Another thing that was so skillful we sort of forgave it was the lines. The lines were long. LONG. But  they hid it so well and kept you so entertained that you kind of thought, "Eh, whatever." The Jungle Cruise was a perfect example. You enter the line just a few feet from where you enter the building and wind out of sight. From the front, there's no way to tell how long the line actually is. But once inside, to wind your way back and forth, in and out, upstairs and back down, past a number of clever little things to see so that you might ultimately walk half a mile without leaving the building or getting stuck in one spot!

I was delighted, however, to see Z's reaction to the Jungle Cruise. There were times when she was obviously and utterly terrified, like when the Piranhas jumped next to the boat and she yelled, "PIRANHAS!!" But moments later, when the danger had passed, she was like, "It's fine, everybody." And at the end of the cruise, the captain said something like, "I hope you weren't scared," and she said, "Not me! Not at all!"  Tough girl.

She ran up and down Tarzan's Treehouse a couple times, then we wound our way through the center of Disneyland to Fantasyland, where we saw the iconic castle, rode the teacups (yes, even the day after food poisoning, I don't get motion sickness!), and headed for It's a Small World. The boys sat that one out. But Mom and I and Z really enjoyed it. It's kind of a trip to look at it from the outside and not be aware just how big it is inside. Z loved that one, too, rounding each corner and shouting, "INDIA! CHINA! THE WEST!" She even told a little guy who was floating upwards with balloons, "Pop one of them and you'll come down!" I was excited to go on this one partly because my grandma just told me that my great-grandma had been really tickled by it. I was crazy about Granny, and I thought of her while we rode.

We then got on Star Tours. I wasn't really sure what it was, but it didn't have the "no pregnant chicks" advisory, so I signed on. All five of us wound through the very long line (even after getting a Fastpass, there was a lot of waiting), and then we finally filed into our "tour." It's one of those 3D movie things with the seats that move, and it was pretty convincing. The best part, though, was that we were stopped by Darth Vader, who said we had a "rebel spy" aboard, and then they showed the picture -- of Boompah!

After that, it was time for lunch at Ariel's Grotto, which is in California Adventure, so we hoofed it over there. We had reservations for 1:10, but  doubt we were seated until 2, because having reservations just gets you in the line. But it was worth the wait. At the bottom of the stairs, you meet Ariel, and Z was enchanted. Ariel was very beautiful, and they got to chat a little before posing for photographs. I noticed as Z skipped back to us that Ariel commented to the photographer how precious she was.

At our table, they brought lovely bread and our drinks and some veggie sticks with dip for Z, but she could NOT be bothered to eat, because there were princesses everywhere! Every couple minutes, a new princess would come by, take Z's hand, chat with her, give her a hug, and pose for pictures. We saw Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, and Aurora, and Z says she saw Prince Charming, too. The lunch there was delicious, and I was really pleased that there were healthy and vegetarian options. I had corn cakes with black beans, onions, and spinach, but again, I couldn't eat too much.

Then we split up for a while -- I needed a nap, and Mom and Z went to A Bug's Life while Sweetie and my stepdad rode Tower of Terror. I said something later about whether Sweetie had had to talk Boompah into going on the ride, and he said he really didn't have to work too hard -- Boompah was game! They got a hilarious shot from the ride-camera of the two of them falling.

This has become rather epic, so I think I will do a part 2. Tune in next time, when we'll re-join our heroes poolside, after the bugs, terror, and ... napping.