Today at school

There was a lockdown.

It was fine. There was a suspect being chased by police in the neighborhood -- on the street that runs adjacent to the school -- but nothing on campus.

But we didn't know that at first. The announcement came over the loudspeaker at the end of lunch, which meant that all our 1800 kids were out in the hallways. Many of them can't hear the announcements well, so we teachers (who were largely in classrooms) opened our doors to usher them in.

Not knowing what the situation was, we certainly had a sense of urgency. We raised our voices to them to hurry. I pre-locked my door so I could just slam it shut, but I stood there holding it, yelling to students to get into a room.

Because my room is in the back of the school, some students had to come a long way to get there, so they kept coming for several minutes. Some were running, and while most kept a steady pace, there was sometimes a burst of speed from the kids coming down the hall next to my room. Was someone chasing them? Was the threat behind them? How many kids could I get inside before it became important to close the door to keep someone out?

If I were to leave my door and look down the hallway, would it give me any insight? Would I be able to address those kids who were still not in a room? Would I be face to face with the threat, whatever it was?

As the kids thinned out, we got most of the ones I could see into classes, and I closed the door, but I stood in the window and as more kids came around the corner, I opened it again to let them in.

Soon there was an announcement that there was no imminent threat to campus. I then worried more about whether I had to pee, and how long it would be before I could go.

At the same time in San Bernadino there was another mass shooting. It was the 352nd one this year. Politicians are offering their thoughts and prayers. It's not working. Gun control might, but the NRA has financed everyone's campaign, so I guess money talks.

I wasn't really scared today. My pulse rose a little when the kids started running. But mass shootings are real, guns are everywhere, and nobody's doing a goddamn thing to stop it.

Well, except for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, which I joined today. Sometimes the craziness of this world just gets to me. Maybe I can do only a little, but I can do something.