Some sweetness, some melancholy.

Well, let's start with Azadeh's good news! She has had a couple really good moments recently. She has played nicely with friends on several occasions. She wrote a really lovely note to a schoolmate expressing sympathy (the girl's father passed away last weekend, and I was writing a card). She has been pretty kind to her brother, reading him books and nuzzling with him a bit. Twice recently she asked if she could talk on the phone with friends, and she had pleasant, short, normal-sounding conversations. She has even -- maybe a little bit -- been trying to treat her dad and me like humans. I mean, she's not good at it. But at least now when I make disgusting swill for dinner, it comes out like, "Um, Mom? I'm really sorry, and you're a really good cook. I just don't like this thing."  I'll take what I can get.

If there are negatives, they're the usual -- she stays up too late, yells a lot, complains a lot, sneaks too many snacks, makes huge messes that she refuses to clean up, and doesn't want to go to karate (and blames it all on us).

She had a pretty serious panic attack a few weeks ago, so I made an appointment for her to start some talk therapy, and she'll have her second session in a couple days. Filling out that initial paperwork was kind of hard and sad. Angry? Check. Worried? Check. Sleepless? Check. Obsessive? Check. Six pages and a lot of checks. I think this'll be a good thing, although not a quick fix, as there are no quick fixes. We're on a long, difficult slog.

I read kind of a sappy piece today by Rob Lowe (of all people) about sending his son off to college. I cried so many times while reading it that I had to take a break. Partly because it was just a lovely tribute to a difficult time of life, and partly because I'm not sure what Z's future holds. Whether we'll ever get to say, "well, I guess you're an adult now! Good luck! Be independent!"

The boy, though! I'll start with the bad, because even his bad is kind of endearing. Like, he doesn't want to wear clothes, so today as I chased him down with pants, he said, "Don't destroy my comfiness!" Or he'll be mischievous, and when Reza or I stand up from the table, he'll drag our chair across the room. It's annoying toddler stuff, but he's got this look on his face like "Ain't I a stinker?!!" I have to cover my mouth and pretend to have a straight face so often!
He has his rotten moments, too. He'll hit, or call names (thanks a lot, big sis, for teaching him the names!). But for the most part, his worst is rascally stuff -- trying to steal my hat and dunk it in the pool. Running away naked after a bath. Putting my earphones in his mouth (again!).

On the good, he's as sweet and funny and charming as ever. Today he regaled Grandpa John at length with tales of our visit to San Francisco and to the Aerospace Museum. He is drawing -- it's still scribbles, but he tells us what it is. Yesterday it was a cheetah with teeth and an M.

And the things that's blowing my mind is how fast he is running through the stages of pre-literacy. From knowing that books have stories, to "reading" us the stories by turning the pages, to sitting and looking at books by himself, to recognizing the letters of the alphabet (about half of them) and knowing the sounds that a lot of them make, to wanting to learn to read and write... He even told me one day "Teach me how to read it, because I can't read it by myself!" This kid is going to be a reader, I can tell.

Playing together so nicely!

Sister gives him love. 

A cheetah with teeth and an M.

Telling Grandpa stories. 

One of the things he told Grandpa about our trip to the museum was "...and I was the painter and Azadeh was the paint!" It doesn't make sense until you see this. 

More sweet playing together. 

I like her pink hair. It's completely faded out now.