Been busy, and changes a-comin'

I haven't been around a lot. Maybe it has something to do with pre-school meetings, school meetings, senior presentations, camping trips, refrigerator deliveries, garage sales, holidays, and just the general grind. Sometimes I think to myself, "The kid is usually in bed by 8:30 -- why don't I have ANY goddamn free time?" And then I remember -- it's because after she goes to bed, I tidy up her stuff, throw a load of laundry in, fold a load of laundry, run to the store for something we forgot, pay the bills, take the garbage and recycling out, scoop the cat litter, feed the cat, sort through the junk mail, make the coffee for the morning, start the slow-cooker, answer my students' emailed questions, bake bread, remove stains, transfer the laundry to the dryer... Guh. It's not really stuff that can get ignored, but it does wear on you.


Anyway, the big thing on my mind is a work thing. I was asked yesterday to switch small learning communities. I've worked in two schools now with strong SLCs. I know it doesn't work everywhere, but it happens that at the two places I've been, our communities have had a sense of identity, colleagues who collaborate, students who know what they're a part of, and just generally a sense of being part of the larger school, yet a distinct entity within it, too. I told the principal that I could see why he was doing it (there are a lot of personnel changes happening), and that my answer was almost certainly a yes, but that I really still wanted to think on it overnight. He said today that it shouldn't be a surprise, when we work so hard to foster community, that we are hesitant to leave one. And I am. I'll work with an entirely different set of colleagues -- ones I also respect, but simply don't know as well, and they already have some dynamics firmly in place. It's almost like going to a new school when you're a kid -- "Will I fit in?"

I'm sad to leave my co-workers. With them, I've gone on innumerable camping trips and field trips. I've sat through hundreds of meetings. I've chaperoned banquets and dances. Heck, I've gone out for beers with them. My lead teacher once couldn't stop laughing as he sang "I will always love you" to a s'more at Yosemite.

But then... I know myself. I am an adaptable person. The first thing the principal asked me was "how are you with change?" And I had to answer honestly -- pretty good. I am also an optimist, so I can see the silver lining to this. Although I'll lose out on a lot of things we did together in my SLC, there will be new things in the new one. I will get to know colleagues I haven't spent much time with. And if they don't have all the fun, educational stuff that we used to do? Then I shall use my vast knowledge of organizing that shit to start new, not-exactly-stolen riffs on it.

Here's a story. My old school was not a great school, but I loved it. I loved my colleagues, and I loved my temporary principal, and when we got a new principal, I didn't love him, but I understood him and he respected me, so we worked together fine. And every Wednesday was salad day. We had a sign-up sheet, and every week, we would bring bread (from Irene's bread machine), dressing (Lou's homemade dressing was the best), cheese, olives, beans, tuna, boiled eggs, and whatever else. One guy was allergic to cilantro, so we started leaving that on the side, along with the tuna, but we mixed everything else up in a gigantic bowl. It wasn't the whole staff, but a pretty good chunk. And then I left.

I was nervous. I knew a few people at the new school from having been in an internship program with them. And, well, my dad worked there. But it was bigger, and it right away seemed more impersonal. My room was far from the staff dining room, and lunches weren't long. A few times, I went there to see what was up, and there were four or five older guys arguing passionately about politics. It wasn't my scene, so I took to eating alone in my classroom. Soon, kids joined me, and that became the routine.

But a couple years ago, I tried starting a pot luck salad. The sign-up list didn't work -- people just brought what they had without signing up in advance, but nevertheless, we had a few nice lunches before school let out. The next Fall, two people said "Hey, are we going to do salads again?" Sure, I thought. I sent out a school-wide email, and about three of us showed up. But then there were four. And then there were five. This year, there's a steady salad group of eight, and we have been more ambitious -- Rachel brought mochi. Tom brings three or four raw veggies and a homemade salad dressing. Nicole roasts beets and sometimes brings boiled eggs from the chickens in her backyard. Stacey brings chevre. I bake bread. Nina, who is new, brought pickled carrots last week.

I guess what I'm saying is, where there isn't a community, I can build one. Slowly, maybe. And where I don't know people, I can get to know them. It is one of my greatest gifts that I rarely really dislike someone, and I don't know very many people who dislike me.

In short: I'll be fine. I'll be sad, but I'll be fine.