I might need a little internet break. People have... just lost focus on what's important, and that's fine for them, but I don't need to fill my leisure time with it.
To wit: Olympics coverage. Gabby Douglas is an amazing athlete. And I have now seen her picked apart for her hair and her outfits.
Breastfeeding. A feminist-leaning web site I usually enjoy regularly seems to attack motherhood, particularly natural parenting choices. It really blew up this week with an article that began thusly;"If you don't breastfeed your child (exclusively, and for a very long time) then you are an uneducated, selfish piece of shit who sucks at being a mother and doesn't love her baby enough to not bottle-feed it the equivalent of rat poison. Or at least, that's the way all this pro-breastfeeding sentiment is beginning to feel." I'm sensing some anger there. And having read people's stories in the comments, I understand the anger on both sides. But seriously, are we tearing each other down over this Breastfeeding was important to me, which is why I went to such great lengths to do it. But if some other woman chooses not to, it's not the end of the world. People make different choices. If we are busy loving our children and trying to make the best choices for our families, can't we all just get along? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, the fact that the U.S. has such piss-poor maternity leave policies compared to other countries is a much bigger deal. Can't we address that?
And then this morning on Facebook my cousin wrote a vociferously-worded rant against people with disabled placards getting free parking at the meters downtown. Initially, I agreed. A woman she cited said she would have to retire if they made her pay for parking. But probably thousands of other people work in Downtown Sacramento, pay for parking, and can still afford to work. Why not her? Well, I let it sit in my brain for a minute, and wondered if paying for parking also meant running to the meter every two hours. For me, that's a (somewhat annoying) cinch. If the elevator's slow, you dash downstairs. If you're really close to your two-hour limit, you jog the block or two. And you could certainly opt to take public transit -- that's what I did when I worked downtown. Of course, from my house (which is close enough to light rail for real estate ads to include it), it's still about an eight-block walk, plus however many blocks from the stop to your workplace, and today it's going to be 104 degrees here. You know, all of a sudden, instead of feeling angry about someone sucking off the public teat, I'm feeling very thankful for my good strong legs and feet and hips.
And there it is in a nutshell. The internet, lately, seems like a place for people who are cranky at the world or have a personal beef to shout about it, and no one seems interested in walking in the other guy's shoes. And it's making ME cranky, too.
Deep breath.
Those of you complaining about Gabby Douglas's hair probably didn't mean it in a cruel way. Perhaps you noticed her glowing smile and thought it would be complemented better by a recently-relaxed 'do. You wanted to see her look her best, because God knows her performance was among the best. And perhaps you have insecurities about your own hair, and if you had taken a minute to think about it, you never would have transferred those insecurities to a 16-year-old girl.
And the ladies who said they would formula-feed their babies just to spite the "breastfeeding Nazis" will likely look into their baby's face someday and do whatever they think is right for their child, and if they stopped to reflect on the horrors of the holocaust, they would take back that word and never call someone a Nazi lightly again.
And the breastfeeding advocates who do think formula feeding moms are selfish would probably keep that sentiment to themselves if only they knew how hard it was for the moms returning to work, or the moms who have trauma associated with their bodies, or the moms who are just too scared to not know exactly how much their babies are getting or the moms who are in physical pain.
And I think if my cousin thought of our charming uncle who walks with a cane after hip replacement surgery, pictured him walking a block or two to feed the meter every two hours all day, she would have a little more sympathy for those with disabled placards.
And you know, maybe there's a different way to pay for disabled parking. A sticker, or a FastTrack-like box. Perhaps it shouldn't just be free.
And I believe breastfeeding really is best for babies, and my belief is based in research. But maybe instead of bashing individual moms, we should work towards getting maternity leave for everyone. Maybe we should work to re-elect Obama, whose health care program just made breast pump rentals free. Maybe we should find other ways to support that choice, rather than insulting those who don't make it.
But attacking each other, calling each other Nazis and freeloaders just shows a lack of charity.
Oh, and speaking of the Facebook? I swear to god, if I get another "click like if you shopped at Woolworths/recognize Captain Kangaroo/know what an 8-track is" I don't know what I'll do. Seriously, when you were shopping at Woolworth's twenty years ago, did you imagine you'd feel nostalgic for it in the future? No! Because shopping at Woolworth's gave about the same amount of warm fuzzies as shopping at Rite-Aid today. Bah.
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