Sometimes you have a moment that's so sweet and perfect that you think you dreamed it once first. A moment where you say, "This is what I never knew I always wanted."
Lochie and I were picking blueberries off my little shrub today. He wanted to eat the green ones, and though I told him the blue ones are better, he liked the green ones and I didn't mind. He stepped to the other side of the bush and said I couldn't see him, but I told him I could see his bright orange shirt. Couldn't he see me? He could. I suggested that I could get the ones up high and he could take the down-low ones, and he jumped twice to show me that he could take the high ones, so I sang him a little snippet of "The Bonny Banks of Loch Lomond," which is never far from my mind with little Loch at my side.
He's really so different than his sister. I mean, he's got his terrible two moments and his tantrums and his insistence on talking about poop at the dinner table. But he also says sorry and means it, gives hugs and kisses freely, is delighted by all kinds of things, and laughs all day long (except after nap).
Yesterday Az wasn't feeling very well, and I brought her some hot tea. Despite her obvious distress, Lochlan was doing little brother-y things, trying to poke her, etc. He grabbed her teacup, and she pulled back, and a little spilled. She yelled and he ran away. He came back about a minute later and said, "I'm sorry, Azadeh." Still mad, she said, "For what?" He said, "For making your tea spill all over the floor." It just struck me because not only had he not been prompted, he was able to specify exactly what he had done. She has, in nine years, done that maybe once or twice.
We had been having a rough time with mornings, and I vented about it to our ABA supervisor. She had some ideas for how to fix it, like not giving Az breakfast until she'd done everything else on her list. If she wasn't done in time? Throw her a granola bar and wish her luck. Although it began with a lot of screaming and verbal abuse, she has been ready on time five days in a row (and also gotten a full breakfast), so that's going really well. Tomorrow we celebrate by having a pancake breakfast. The supervisor had suggested that if we had five good days, she would come over for breakfast with us, and Az asked if her technician could come too. Then the supervisor said we should invite the other supervisor as well. It would be so fun! Meanwhile, I'm thinking... am I cooking pancakes for all these people?*
The best recent news comes from yesterday. I think I've at least mentioned how difficult it's been to try to fight with the school district about getting (and keeping) a classroom aide for Azadeh. Well, she only has 11 more days of school, so we had her end-of-year "touch bases" meeting. Knowing that the district was pressing to get rid of the aide, knowing that the aide has never been written into her IEP, and knowing that 4th grade was about to start, I had grim visions for the meeting.
Instead, we talked about a bunch of other stuff, and when the aide was mentioned, they basically said, "Yeah, we think she should start 4th grade with the aide. We can work on strategically fading later."
With a series of meaningful glances around the room, the special ed teacher (who is a rockstar hero) clarified to make sure that we all agreed to that, hit "print," and had be sign it, practically yelling "NO TAKEBACKS!" Because it was an addendum to the IEP, which means that now the aide actually is in the IEP. So yay!
How about me? Have I mentioned me lately? I was really stressed out with my teaching this year -- my freshmen were the worst I've had in... almost ever. (My middle schoolers from early in my career felt worse in some ways, but also I wasn't as confident or good at classroom management, so that may have been more me than them.) And I really thought the IB students were being let down in certain ways -- there wasn't a full group of teachers dedicated to doing the extra-curricular and support stuff for them. I have lots of thoughts about this, but they can mostly be boiled down to this: those kids are no smarter, better, or more capable than anyone else on campus. They've just signed up on purpose for a bigger challenge. They need at least as much support if not more. Anyway, between the freshmen and the disappointment I felt at being distanced from that program I'd moved to my school for, I was kind of checking the job listings. But then there were some shifts and some moves and some personnel swaps and lo and behold, I'm going back into that program full-time. I'm feeling really energized about some ways I can throw my support behind the enrichment we've traditionally done for them. And I get to move back to one of my two favorite rooms on campus, which even makes moving classrooms more bearable.
I also noted over on the Facebook that Sweetie and I met some 14 years ago, or very nearly a third of my life ago. Y'all, I hate to brag, but he's smart, funny, good-looking, and he cleans the house and treats me like a queen.
So... it's good. Pretty good.
*Probably not. When the same woman suggested a going-away party for the last aide, she brought pizza. But just in case, I made a double batch of pancakes this afternoon and froze them so I didn't have to worry about making them from scratch in the morning.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Venting, bragging, thoughts on growth
So it is still very very difficult to live with Azadeh. Today alone she opened a bag of Oreos (that I had purchased at her request to be used as an incentive at school), asked if she could have one, and took ten. Then she hid in her room playing on a Kindle even though she has not earned her screen time (we'll try to address it this evening). Then we went to the Intergalactic Expo, where she kept blocking the paths of people, and swinging a bag around (I do not think I'm exaggerating when I say I asked her 50 times not to swing the bag) almost hitting people, then she jumped into an elevator and went to another floor without us (I had a stroller), tackled her friend, hit a beach ball on stage while some teens were playing live music, and (after SHE had an uninterrupted 20 minutes of lightsaber play) decided to play "lightsaber limbo" between Lochlan and the guy trying to teach him/play with him. She had already been asked to sit out from lightsaber training for being too wild with the littler kids. I mean, I know she doesn't KNOW it, but she's such a ball of loudness and energy and unpredictability that you can tell where she is in a crowd by watching people dodge out of the way with surprised faces. It was EXHAUSTING following her around this place for 2 1/2 hours. And that's a pretty good day in some ways -- she was sneaky and loud and obnoxious and lied, BUT she didn't yell or say mean things to me. Shrug.
But we have had some real progress, too! I mean... it's going to sound really small, but please understand that a kid who's never said a word who says "hi" is going to make his mama cry if he says it, whereas any other kid, that'd be a big "so what." So please keep in mind that these things are BIG things for her. We got a report that she had started to interrupt in class, but stopped herself! She's had nearly two weeks of pretty good sleep (we've only had to use Benadryl twice). She said something mean, and without being prompted, she said sorry (and it sounded like she meant it)! She hasn't gotten into any major trouble at school (knock wood). She made it through standardized testing without anxiety. She and another kid at school are getting along really well, and the other kid's mom has suggested that they have playdates.
She's lost some time with her one-on-one ABA provider. When the last young lady left, we had a hard time finding a replacement. Azadeh had really hit it off with one woman, C, when she substituted, and we found out we could get her, but only one day a week. We went with it, and added one day a week at the social skills group at the clinic. So it's a loss of hours overall, but she's happy with the schedule (it frees up her weekends somewhat), and she seems to be making some progress anyway -- I think the clinic is more helpful than I expected.
Her growth will always be different than other kids. She will always be different. And the schedule of how fast this progress is happening is not what I'd have chosen if there's been options. But I'm very grateful for it, and I don't take it for granted.
Sometimes we have a bad night and we talk about whether we'll have to build an apartment on top of the garage for her to live in. Other times I look forward to her going to college, getting a job, falling in love. Overall, I lean toward the latter. Stay tuned, right?
But we have had some real progress, too! I mean... it's going to sound really small, but please understand that a kid who's never said a word who says "hi" is going to make his mama cry if he says it, whereas any other kid, that'd be a big "so what." So please keep in mind that these things are BIG things for her. We got a report that she had started to interrupt in class, but stopped herself! She's had nearly two weeks of pretty good sleep (we've only had to use Benadryl twice). She said something mean, and without being prompted, she said sorry (and it sounded like she meant it)! She hasn't gotten into any major trouble at school (knock wood). She made it through standardized testing without anxiety. She and another kid at school are getting along really well, and the other kid's mom has suggested that they have playdates.
She's lost some time with her one-on-one ABA provider. When the last young lady left, we had a hard time finding a replacement. Azadeh had really hit it off with one woman, C, when she substituted, and we found out we could get her, but only one day a week. We went with it, and added one day a week at the social skills group at the clinic. So it's a loss of hours overall, but she's happy with the schedule (it frees up her weekends somewhat), and she seems to be making some progress anyway -- I think the clinic is more helpful than I expected.
Her growth will always be different than other kids. She will always be different. And the schedule of how fast this progress is happening is not what I'd have chosen if there's been options. But I'm very grateful for it, and I don't take it for granted.
Sometimes we have a bad night and we talk about whether we'll have to build an apartment on top of the garage for her to live in. Other times I look forward to her going to college, getting a job, falling in love. Overall, I lean toward the latter. Stay tuned, right?
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Mishmash
It's spring. The garden is loving all the rain we've had this year. Lochlan is hilarious. Azadeh has ups and downs.
Lochlan is so curious about everything. He especially wants to know what kind of animal that is, what it eats, and what sound it makes. We were in Elk Grove, and the sign has the words "Elk Grove" in big letters, a tree on the right, and a fairly small elk in the corner. But he was like, "What is that animal?!" As soon as we got home, he got his dad to play him videos of elk making noises. Tonight on the way home from dinner, he told us he was going to ask his dad to play it again. "I will ask Dad to show me the video of the elk making the elk noise to call the other elk family to come over there!"
We've had some really rough moments and some real bright spots as well. Friday night we said we were going to a restaurant near the house. Azadeh complained -- we go there EVERY NIGHT. (We've been about three times in three months.) I suggested she get a different menu item than usual, maybe a burrito or quesadilla. She said "yeah, okay." Five minutes later, we were all walking down the street when she realized we were headed for that restaurant. Long story short, she had NOT been listening to me and was NOT okay with going there. But she's a kid, right? Sometimes you have to suck it up when your parents make decisions. Well... Not for her. She got to the corner where the restaurant is, turned around and ran home. That sucked. Losing your autistic nine-year-old, even briefly, on a busy street is not enjoyable at all.
But for the rest of the weekend, she was actually pretty cool. She made a daisy chain yesterday. Today she joked with me as I tucked her in.
Some other bright spots come in the form of other people.
I'm -- kind of strange? Like, I really enjoy other people's company and I like to spend time with folks, but I'm sort of equally happy to be a loner. A couple weeks ago I went to Asha Urban Baths, and I went alone and took a book. There were four gals there hanging out with each other, doing face masks and taking selfies. It looked fun. It occurred to me that since my bestie moved away, I really don't do girl time stuff anymore. But I do have a friend in town that would have gone to the baths with me. I just... I guess sometimes I find it too much work to reach out, coordinate times, plan around other people's schedule. And I don't mind being alone, so it ends up that if I do stuff like that, I do it alone fairly often.
Anyway, it's also kind of hard to reach out and ask for help and make connections. But this month has been sort of a banner month for that.
First, I asked Dad (Mr. Bowsaw to you) if he'd help take Azadeh to karate one day a week, because I just couldn't make it work with her therapy schedule and Lochie's nap. He was willing, and although the first two weeks, she refused to go, after that, we talked with her about a schedule that worked better, and now they've been going quite happily.
Second, and also schedule-related, the ABA people are forever asking us if we want to bring Az to their clinic. Well, she LOVES the clinic (my impression is that they mostly do art), but it's pretty far away -- a twenty minute drive in good traffic on a stretch of freeway that often has bad traffic. But then a girl in her class started going, and now the mom and I coordinate. I asked if she might want to have me take the girls out there and drop them off, and she could pick them up and bring Az home. We've done it three times now, and it really makes it easier. Yesterday I almost picked the mom some flowers, but then it turned out we were going to drop the girl off at another friend's house, and I didn't want to be weird.
Also recently, another girl joined Azadeh's karate class and the two of them bonded instantly. We invited her to the birthday party, and the two of them are fast friends. Well, the mom sort of hinted to me one day that they "might have some of the same issues." Then she texted me to say that she hoped I'd talk to her on the phone, because the girl was just diagnosed as autistic. We agreed that she'd text today to figure out a good time to call. Well, she didn't text all day, so after 4, I texted her and said I was around, and if she was feeling awkward, please don't, because we all need allies. She called immediately and we talked for about half an hour.
So, you know, some stuff gets harder and some stuff you find solutions for, and reaching out for help and cooperation, and even reaching out the other way, to offer help, can feel pretty good.
One last thing. I learn new stuff about her autism all the time. On spring break, we went to Old Sacramento, and while we were up on a ramp looking at the water and the bridges, we heard a horn. The passenger train was coming! We sat down to watch. But as it actually rolled in, still blowing its horn, and now the sound of the engine and the tracks, she got visibly irritated, then mad. She yelled at no one in particular, "WHY IS IT MAKING ALL THAT NOISE! SOMEBODY STOP THE NOISE!" And I realized right then that she had done things like that for years and years. Suddenly angry, shouting at people who couldn't do anything about it, asking questions with no good answers... In the past I had always thought, "Geez, kid... you know better than that! Stop shouting at people! What the hell? You KNOW a train is going to be loud." But that day it dawned on me (SO LATE, I KNOW!) that it was part of her sensory processing issues that come with autism. Ever seen a non-verbal or limited-verbal autistic kid start rocking back and forth covering his ears because of a noise? Yeah... that is what my kid was doing, except she expresses it as anger and shouts. How had I never seen that before? In the beginning of this paragraph, I said "her autism." Because as they say, you meet one person with autism and you've met one person with autism. Hers is uniquely hers, and sometimes it's hard to recognize her behaviors as typical of autism, but they totally are -- you just need to be looking at it hard to realize it. (Like her "stims" -- I had literally NEVER heard of "vocal stims" until I saw this video, when I felt like I was having one of those "Shoulda had a V8" moments. I was like, Man, I guess we shouldn't have spent 6 years telling her to quit making that weird noise!)
Okay, yeah. So... up and down. Elk noises. Reaching out. All good.
Lochlan is so curious about everything. He especially wants to know what kind of animal that is, what it eats, and what sound it makes. We were in Elk Grove, and the sign has the words "Elk Grove" in big letters, a tree on the right, and a fairly small elk in the corner. But he was like, "What is that animal?!" As soon as we got home, he got his dad to play him videos of elk making noises. Tonight on the way home from dinner, he told us he was going to ask his dad to play it again. "I will ask Dad to show me the video of the elk making the elk noise to call the other elk family to come over there!"
We've had some really rough moments and some real bright spots as well. Friday night we said we were going to a restaurant near the house. Azadeh complained -- we go there EVERY NIGHT. (We've been about three times in three months.) I suggested she get a different menu item than usual, maybe a burrito or quesadilla. She said "yeah, okay." Five minutes later, we were all walking down the street when she realized we were headed for that restaurant. Long story short, she had NOT been listening to me and was NOT okay with going there. But she's a kid, right? Sometimes you have to suck it up when your parents make decisions. Well... Not for her. She got to the corner where the restaurant is, turned around and ran home. That sucked. Losing your autistic nine-year-old, even briefly, on a busy street is not enjoyable at all.
But for the rest of the weekend, she was actually pretty cool. She made a daisy chain yesterday. Today she joked with me as I tucked her in.
Some other bright spots come in the form of other people.
I'm -- kind of strange? Like, I really enjoy other people's company and I like to spend time with folks, but I'm sort of equally happy to be a loner. A couple weeks ago I went to Asha Urban Baths, and I went alone and took a book. There were four gals there hanging out with each other, doing face masks and taking selfies. It looked fun. It occurred to me that since my bestie moved away, I really don't do girl time stuff anymore. But I do have a friend in town that would have gone to the baths with me. I just... I guess sometimes I find it too much work to reach out, coordinate times, plan around other people's schedule. And I don't mind being alone, so it ends up that if I do stuff like that, I do it alone fairly often.
Anyway, it's also kind of hard to reach out and ask for help and make connections. But this month has been sort of a banner month for that.
First, I asked Dad (Mr. Bowsaw to you) if he'd help take Azadeh to karate one day a week, because I just couldn't make it work with her therapy schedule and Lochie's nap. He was willing, and although the first two weeks, she refused to go, after that, we talked with her about a schedule that worked better, and now they've been going quite happily.
Second, and also schedule-related, the ABA people are forever asking us if we want to bring Az to their clinic. Well, she LOVES the clinic (my impression is that they mostly do art), but it's pretty far away -- a twenty minute drive in good traffic on a stretch of freeway that often has bad traffic. But then a girl in her class started going, and now the mom and I coordinate. I asked if she might want to have me take the girls out there and drop them off, and she could pick them up and bring Az home. We've done it three times now, and it really makes it easier. Yesterday I almost picked the mom some flowers, but then it turned out we were going to drop the girl off at another friend's house, and I didn't want to be weird.
Also recently, another girl joined Azadeh's karate class and the two of them bonded instantly. We invited her to the birthday party, and the two of them are fast friends. Well, the mom sort of hinted to me one day that they "might have some of the same issues." Then she texted me to say that she hoped I'd talk to her on the phone, because the girl was just diagnosed as autistic. We agreed that she'd text today to figure out a good time to call. Well, she didn't text all day, so after 4, I texted her and said I was around, and if she was feeling awkward, please don't, because we all need allies. She called immediately and we talked for about half an hour.
So, you know, some stuff gets harder and some stuff you find solutions for, and reaching out for help and cooperation, and even reaching out the other way, to offer help, can feel pretty good.
One last thing. I learn new stuff about her autism all the time. On spring break, we went to Old Sacramento, and while we were up on a ramp looking at the water and the bridges, we heard a horn. The passenger train was coming! We sat down to watch. But as it actually rolled in, still blowing its horn, and now the sound of the engine and the tracks, she got visibly irritated, then mad. She yelled at no one in particular, "WHY IS IT MAKING ALL THAT NOISE! SOMEBODY STOP THE NOISE!" And I realized right then that she had done things like that for years and years. Suddenly angry, shouting at people who couldn't do anything about it, asking questions with no good answers... In the past I had always thought, "Geez, kid... you know better than that! Stop shouting at people! What the hell? You KNOW a train is going to be loud." But that day it dawned on me (SO LATE, I KNOW!) that it was part of her sensory processing issues that come with autism. Ever seen a non-verbal or limited-verbal autistic kid start rocking back and forth covering his ears because of a noise? Yeah... that is what my kid was doing, except she expresses it as anger and shouts. How had I never seen that before? In the beginning of this paragraph, I said "her autism." Because as they say, you meet one person with autism and you've met one person with autism. Hers is uniquely hers, and sometimes it's hard to recognize her behaviors as typical of autism, but they totally are -- you just need to be looking at it hard to realize it. (Like her "stims" -- I had literally NEVER heard of "vocal stims" until I saw this video, when I felt like I was having one of those "Shoulda had a V8" moments. I was like, Man, I guess we shouldn't have spent 6 years telling her to quit making that weird noise!)
Okay, yeah. So... up and down. Elk noises. Reaching out. All good.
Sunday, April 09, 2017
"She's autistic."
...Is something I almost never say. I mean, I'm not ashamed of it, and I don't mind talking about it, but on the other hand, it's not anyone's business, particularly, outside of our loved ones and her teachers.
If I'm singing along with Billy Joel in Trader Joe's, no-one needs to know my whole back story. They can either figure it out (my story is I have completely undiscriminating tastes in music and no shame) or ignore it. Same when my kid is making weird noises or screeching "WHAT'S MAKING THAT SOUND?!" You either have enough experience with autistic kids that you already know, or you think she's ill-behaved and you're judging me and I don't give a single fuck.
But I did say it today. It felt very unfamiliar to do so.
I took the kids to the child care center at the gym. I initially thought I might just work out, but I saw that a yoga class was starting, so I went back to the child care center to tell them where I'd be in case they needed me. (This is a very minor lie -- I was also checking up on the kids, but whatever.)
The woman in charge said they were both fine, and "Your daughter is so funny! She was like, 'I don't usually like humans, but I don't mind spending time with babies, I guess.'"
It paused on my tongue for just a second, but in that second I decided that my kid saying she doesn't like humans might, in fact, be worth an explanation, especially to someone providing her care. It would help make sense of her, a little.
I know it helped us make sense of her, a little.
If I'm singing along with Billy Joel in Trader Joe's, no-one needs to know my whole back story. They can either figure it out (my story is I have completely undiscriminating tastes in music and no shame) or ignore it. Same when my kid is making weird noises or screeching "WHAT'S MAKING THAT SOUND?!" You either have enough experience with autistic kids that you already know, or you think she's ill-behaved and you're judging me and I don't give a single fuck.
But I did say it today. It felt very unfamiliar to do so.
I took the kids to the child care center at the gym. I initially thought I might just work out, but I saw that a yoga class was starting, so I went back to the child care center to tell them where I'd be in case they needed me. (This is a very minor lie -- I was also checking up on the kids, but whatever.)
The woman in charge said they were both fine, and "Your daughter is so funny! She was like, 'I don't usually like humans, but I don't mind spending time with babies, I guess.'"
It paused on my tongue for just a second, but in that second I decided that my kid saying she doesn't like humans might, in fact, be worth an explanation, especially to someone providing her care. It would help make sense of her, a little.
I know it helped us make sense of her, a little.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
There's gold in them there hills!
Azadeh was assigned a science book report, and initially she said she wanted to do it on geology (she has since changed it to earthquakes, which makes our little trip pleasant but pointless). I ordered the book Geology Rocks and started thinking fondly of my college trip up to Mokelumne Hill, southeast of Sacramento. I had a professor who looked like Santa (and on one happy December day, revealed that he knew it), and I accompanied him and the other students on a trip of about 90 minutes to the old town and its surroundings. We stopped to admire rock formations several times, and to eat "lunch" at least as many times, and it was a pleasant day (I had really enjoyed the bookstore in Mokelumne Hill in particular).
So I decided to take the kids down there, got some suggestions on things to do, and looked for a place to camp. Lochlan had said, completely randomly, "and we will see an emu!" when discussing our plans. So when I stumbled on an RV camp with little log cabins and an emu, I decided it was kismet.
We drove down yesterday, set up our little cabin, and the kids played for a while (there was a playground, and Az found a friend). I wanted to see Columbia, though, so at about 3 we drove there. On second Saturdays, they have reenactors and close the roads to cars, and it was quite nice! Old Sacramento has some similar attractions, like the old schoolhouse and the "dress up in olden times" photography shops, but Columbia seemed a little more focused on historical things, so where Old Sac has a Round Table pizza and a novelty shop, Columbia has a blacksmith, a soap and candle shop, and an old-timey clothing and hat store. They also had gold panning, and the reenactors were showing people how to use that sluice thing to find gold. Lochlan loved the horses. Azadeh liked the fancy lace fan she got.
We went back towards Angel's Camp and saw a sign that said "Mark Twain's Cabin." But the very next turnoff said "not a through road." I realize now that doesn't mean you can't go on it, but I passed it and we ended up at the New Melones Lake visitors center instead. It was closed, but there was a nice scenic overlook.
In Angels Camp, we walked into a restaurant called Crusco's. Once we walked in, I realized it was somewhat nicer than we were really in the market for, but the kids were well-behaved, and dinner was actually quite lovely.
We went back to our cabin and hung out for a while, snacking and reading, and then I tried to get the kids to bed. They were both kind of amped up, but I got L asleep by 8:30 or so. Azadeh, on the other hand, WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP. Nope. No. Not happening. And I can't sleep while she fidgets in a nylon sleeping bag on a plastic mattress, so we spent about three hours threatening, cajoling, comforting, trying solutions, giving up, trying new solutions, and trying old solutions again. I would estimate she finally went to sleep around midnight. By then, I was kind of keyed up myself, so I lay there for about ten minutes, starting to doze off, when Lochlan shouted something, leapt off his bed, ran to the big bed (long story, but Azadeh and I had switched who would sleep on the top bunk vs. who would be in the big bed -- or would we both sleep in the big bed? -- about six times), and jumped onto Azadeh's head. I can only imagine he had a bad dream and was expecting me to be in the bed (which had been the plan when he fell asleep). Oddly enough, this did not wake her. Anyway, I jumped down off the top bunk, grabbed him, and pulled him up there with me, where he told me stories about baby gorillas for about an hour before he finally drifted off as well. And then the instant Azadeh opened her eyes in the morning, she loudly woke us both up. So that sucked.
This morning we dinked around and ate snacks, then cleaned up (you may know how much mess a typical child can make with a bag of popcorn. You have no idea how much my two can make.) and packed the car. The kids wanted to play on the playground a bit more, then we headed to Murphy's for breakfast.
I thought Murphy's was charming (if entirely out of compliance with the ADA). We had a terrific breakfast at Grounds Restaurant, and then we walked around a bit more, going into a spice shop, window shopping at a closed bookstore, and peeking in a few other windows. Lochlan was starting to get grumpy (from being overtired), so while my original plan was to take them to Mercer Caverns, I decided maybe we needed to cut out plans a bit short. Azadeh agreed, so we drove to Angels Camp for one last stop -- a rock/fossil/jewelry haven called Stories in Stone -- and then hit the road. And thank goodness, because I was able to get a nap when we got back.
Among the little notables -- we saw what I *think* was a peregrine falcon on a branch above the camp this morning. Lochlan did visit the emu. We also saw five vultures eating some carrion on the side of the road. So good wildlife count overall!
Also, I'm not really sure how RV camps work, but there were like 150 RVs parked there, and we really only saw like four other families the whole time.
It was really well-equipped, though! There were nice bathrooms with showers, a big shady gazebo with electric stovetops and running water, and a horseshoe court.
That area is made famous partly by Mark Twain's "The Notorious Jumping Frogs of Calaveras County," so there are frog images everywhere. Angels Camp's main street has frog plaques all down the sidewalk with the names of famous jumping frogs. My favorite was "Rosie the Ribbiter."
I guess that's about it. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that although Calaveras County is as close as the Bay Area, I have never been (except as a kid, which I barely remember, and on that field trip, which was on a bus so I couldn't have really told you where we were). I also -- true story -- got about 20 minutes east of home and went, "OH! So this is Sloughhouse!" I feel like Sacramento natives will find that ridiculous, since people are always talking about how they get the best produce from Sloughhouse, but... yeah, I'd never been there and had no idea it was so close.
Lastly, in reading our geology books, I saw a mention of "tombstone rocks," which have a distinctive appearance. We saw our first ones about 30 miles out of Sacramento, then saw more and more, until at one point about 5 miles from Angels Camp, a whole hill is just crowned with them. It was cool.
An example of tombstone rocks (and my pretty girl with frosting on her face).
Possibly a falcon?
Lochlan at the playground.
Funky thing in Murphys.
Also funky thing in Murphys. (Murphys is kind of funky.)
Tailing wheels at a scenic overlook near Jackson.
Emu.
Walking through the rocks stripped of gold in Columbia.
More playground. He's cute, what can I say?
Also cute.
So I decided to take the kids down there, got some suggestions on things to do, and looked for a place to camp. Lochlan had said, completely randomly, "and we will see an emu!" when discussing our plans. So when I stumbled on an RV camp with little log cabins and an emu, I decided it was kismet.
We drove down yesterday, set up our little cabin, and the kids played for a while (there was a playground, and Az found a friend). I wanted to see Columbia, though, so at about 3 we drove there. On second Saturdays, they have reenactors and close the roads to cars, and it was quite nice! Old Sacramento has some similar attractions, like the old schoolhouse and the "dress up in olden times" photography shops, but Columbia seemed a little more focused on historical things, so where Old Sac has a Round Table pizza and a novelty shop, Columbia has a blacksmith, a soap and candle shop, and an old-timey clothing and hat store. They also had gold panning, and the reenactors were showing people how to use that sluice thing to find gold. Lochlan loved the horses. Azadeh liked the fancy lace fan she got.
We went back towards Angel's Camp and saw a sign that said "Mark Twain's Cabin." But the very next turnoff said "not a through road." I realize now that doesn't mean you can't go on it, but I passed it and we ended up at the New Melones Lake visitors center instead. It was closed, but there was a nice scenic overlook.
In Angels Camp, we walked into a restaurant called Crusco's. Once we walked in, I realized it was somewhat nicer than we were really in the market for, but the kids were well-behaved, and dinner was actually quite lovely.
We went back to our cabin and hung out for a while, snacking and reading, and then I tried to get the kids to bed. They were both kind of amped up, but I got L asleep by 8:30 or so. Azadeh, on the other hand, WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP. Nope. No. Not happening. And I can't sleep while she fidgets in a nylon sleeping bag on a plastic mattress, so we spent about three hours threatening, cajoling, comforting, trying solutions, giving up, trying new solutions, and trying old solutions again. I would estimate she finally went to sleep around midnight. By then, I was kind of keyed up myself, so I lay there for about ten minutes, starting to doze off, when Lochlan shouted something, leapt off his bed, ran to the big bed (long story, but Azadeh and I had switched who would sleep on the top bunk vs. who would be in the big bed -- or would we both sleep in the big bed? -- about six times), and jumped onto Azadeh's head. I can only imagine he had a bad dream and was expecting me to be in the bed (which had been the plan when he fell asleep). Oddly enough, this did not wake her. Anyway, I jumped down off the top bunk, grabbed him, and pulled him up there with me, where he told me stories about baby gorillas for about an hour before he finally drifted off as well. And then the instant Azadeh opened her eyes in the morning, she loudly woke us both up. So that sucked.
This morning we dinked around and ate snacks, then cleaned up (you may know how much mess a typical child can make with a bag of popcorn. You have no idea how much my two can make.) and packed the car. The kids wanted to play on the playground a bit more, then we headed to Murphy's for breakfast.
I thought Murphy's was charming (if entirely out of compliance with the ADA). We had a terrific breakfast at Grounds Restaurant, and then we walked around a bit more, going into a spice shop, window shopping at a closed bookstore, and peeking in a few other windows. Lochlan was starting to get grumpy (from being overtired), so while my original plan was to take them to Mercer Caverns, I decided maybe we needed to cut out plans a bit short. Azadeh agreed, so we drove to Angels Camp for one last stop -- a rock/fossil/jewelry haven called Stories in Stone -- and then hit the road. And thank goodness, because I was able to get a nap when we got back.
Among the little notables -- we saw what I *think* was a peregrine falcon on a branch above the camp this morning. Lochlan did visit the emu. We also saw five vultures eating some carrion on the side of the road. So good wildlife count overall!
Also, I'm not really sure how RV camps work, but there were like 150 RVs parked there, and we really only saw like four other families the whole time.
It was really well-equipped, though! There were nice bathrooms with showers, a big shady gazebo with electric stovetops and running water, and a horseshoe court.
That area is made famous partly by Mark Twain's "The Notorious Jumping Frogs of Calaveras County," so there are frog images everywhere. Angels Camp's main street has frog plaques all down the sidewalk with the names of famous jumping frogs. My favorite was "Rosie the Ribbiter."
I guess that's about it. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that although Calaveras County is as close as the Bay Area, I have never been (except as a kid, which I barely remember, and on that field trip, which was on a bus so I couldn't have really told you where we were). I also -- true story -- got about 20 minutes east of home and went, "OH! So this is Sloughhouse!" I feel like Sacramento natives will find that ridiculous, since people are always talking about how they get the best produce from Sloughhouse, but... yeah, I'd never been there and had no idea it was so close.
Lastly, in reading our geology books, I saw a mention of "tombstone rocks," which have a distinctive appearance. We saw our first ones about 30 miles out of Sacramento, then saw more and more, until at one point about 5 miles from Angels Camp, a whole hill is just crowned with them. It was cool.
An example of tombstone rocks (and my pretty girl with frosting on her face).
Possibly a falcon?
Lochlan at the playground.
Funky thing in Murphys.
Also funky thing in Murphys. (Murphys is kind of funky.)
Tailing wheels at a scenic overlook near Jackson.
Bunk beds! Az claimed the top bunk, then chickened out.
Emu.
Walking through the rocks stripped of gold in Columbia.
Same.
More playground. He's cute, what can I say?
Also cute.
Thursday, March 02, 2017
Sweet Lochie
Yesterday a substitute asked how old my kids were. I said that Loch was 2, and she attempted to commiserate over the terrible twos. I decided not to derail a perfectly polite and lightweight social gambit, but actually... The Terrible Twos could be worse (knock wood, and we all remember the Fuck-You Fours, I'm sure).
Does he have his moods? Sure -- especially when one of his new molars is bothering him, or when he first wakes up from his nap.
But even then, he just wails, or threatens to hit things (usually without following through). "I will HIT that chair!"
But his sweetness is still the sweetest sweetness that ever sweet...ed. He loves to get hugs and kisses, and generally insists on getting them from everyone (Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Boompah) upon saying his goodbyes. He speaks lovingly on the phone, telling his Grandpa Hossein happy birthday the other day. If you give him just a kiss, he will say, "I need a hug, too."
He happily snuggles his toys, including both Reza's and my childhood stuffed animals, something that warms both our cold hearts.
He narrates little stories with his stuffed animals, and he loves to wear puppets and make them talk. He even uses the puppet theater (at ArtBeast or the Crocker) to entertain other kids, although he can be a bit territorial about it.
He asks me to sing him songs, and he likes to pretend we are mommy and baby of another species, so one night it will be "Sing me a song, Mama Bird," and the next I'll be Mama Tiger. One of his favorite songs is Joni Mitchell's "California," and tonight after I sang the line "my heart cried out for you," he repeated "my heart cried out for you."
Every night Sweetie reads to him, and when they call me, he hides. He's gotten better about not wiggling so much and not IMMEDIATELY throwing off the blanket and yelling "here I am!"
He's really into animals, and his favorite show is "Go Diego Go." So he likes to talk about cotton-top tamarins and macaroni penguins. He also like beluga whales. I showed him a page in a book with a Verreaux' Sifaka on it, and he had me repeat the name, then said, "I have never seen a Verreaux' sifaka like that before!"
I mentioned to Azadeh that we might go camping soon, and out of nowhere he added "and I want to see an emu!" Well, you'll never believe it: tonight I was looking at campsites, and the first one I checked has an emu as one of the featured attractions. I guess we are going camping! Who am I to deny kismet?
He is getting more sociable with strangers, too. Today he gave his hair stylist a hug. Yesterday he asked a boy at the park if he would be his friend. Last week at pre-school he actually sang the song!
He's just a wonderful lovebug, and we're so enriched by his presence.
Does he have his moods? Sure -- especially when one of his new molars is bothering him, or when he first wakes up from his nap.
But even then, he just wails, or threatens to hit things (usually without following through). "I will HIT that chair!"
But his sweetness is still the sweetest sweetness that ever sweet...ed. He loves to get hugs and kisses, and generally insists on getting them from everyone (Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Boompah) upon saying his goodbyes. He speaks lovingly on the phone, telling his Grandpa Hossein happy birthday the other day. If you give him just a kiss, he will say, "I need a hug, too."
He happily snuggles his toys, including both Reza's and my childhood stuffed animals, something that warms both our cold hearts.
He narrates little stories with his stuffed animals, and he loves to wear puppets and make them talk. He even uses the puppet theater (at ArtBeast or the Crocker) to entertain other kids, although he can be a bit territorial about it.
He asks me to sing him songs, and he likes to pretend we are mommy and baby of another species, so one night it will be "Sing me a song, Mama Bird," and the next I'll be Mama Tiger. One of his favorite songs is Joni Mitchell's "California," and tonight after I sang the line "my heart cried out for you," he repeated "my heart cried out for you."
Every night Sweetie reads to him, and when they call me, he hides. He's gotten better about not wiggling so much and not IMMEDIATELY throwing off the blanket and yelling "here I am!"
He's really into animals, and his favorite show is "Go Diego Go." So he likes to talk about cotton-top tamarins and macaroni penguins. He also like beluga whales. I showed him a page in a book with a Verreaux' Sifaka on it, and he had me repeat the name, then said, "I have never seen a Verreaux' sifaka like that before!"
I mentioned to Azadeh that we might go camping soon, and out of nowhere he added "and I want to see an emu!" Well, you'll never believe it: tonight I was looking at campsites, and the first one I checked has an emu as one of the featured attractions. I guess we are going camping! Who am I to deny kismet?
He is getting more sociable with strangers, too. Today he gave his hair stylist a hug. Yesterday he asked a boy at the park if he would be his friend. Last week at pre-school he actually sang the song!
He's just a wonderful lovebug, and we're so enriched by his presence.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Growing up, more
Well, it's February. We're three weeks into the new U.S. regime, which is an unmitigated disaster that fills me with rage. So let's talk about something else!
Zadie is doing pretty well in school, although she missed two days this week for pretty spurious reasons. She just did a how-to talk about how to make a lanyard, and this month's project is a biography. She's doing it on Michelle Yeoh (the actress who rose to fame in martial arts films). She still spends a lot of time with the younger neighbor girl, which is nice. I know where she is, who she's with, and what she's doing, but she's entertained.
She's starting to ask for a little more privacy -- closing the door to her room and such. And I notice she's been reading a lot of the American Girl books I've gotten her on how to take care of her body and deal with social situations. She has asked for a bra, and although there's no *physical* reason to, I'll probably grab her a couple sports bras on her birthday. If nothing else, she can wear them under her karate gi to prevent chafing.
Lochlan is growing and changing, too. In the last couple months, he rapidly grew taller, so that his pudgy baby belly stretched out, and he's now a lean and lanky little boy. He is such a helper: he loves to stand on his "learning tower" in the kitchen and help me make dinner. He likes to pick tangerines off our tree. He will take his plate to the kitchen after dinner.
He's as sweet as ever, only where it was all physical once -- pats, hugs, kisses -- now it's kind words, too. A few days ago he said "You're a good grandma" to my mom. She said he was a good grandson, and he answered, "I am!" He tells us he loves us, blows kisses, says "thank you" and "I'm sorry." If I gather him up to put his jammies on, he'll tell me, "I need a story from my daddy." When I'm done singing him songs at night, he'll wrap one arm around my neck and announce, "I grabbed you! So you can't go away."
His burn from November is all healed, and he doesn't have to go back to the doctors about it anymore. He does have a pretty big, raspberry-colored scar on his upper arm (maybe the size of a half-dollar). We massage it with oil (they said it would help it heal), and he likes to get the oil on his finger and do some, too. The less-severe burns on his hip and ribcage are all but invisible, but the upper arm is kind of ropy and keloidy, and I suspect it'll be around for a long time. But healed! Healed is good!
We're getting close to the end of nursing (I know -- he's old. Don't care.) Some days we don't nurse at all. Once in a while he'll still get two sessions in. But I decided we were close enough that I could go see about medication for my (self-diagnosed) ADHD. I'm only telling you this because there's a punchline coming. I went to the doctor's office, got my paperwork, and sat down (it's a drop-in clinic). About 20 minutes later, someone said, "Any new intake patients here?" About five of us walked up, and she announced it would be 2 1/2 hours before we were likely to be seen. So we could stay, or we could go and just bring our paperwork back next time. I was thinking to myself, "I'm here to be evaluated for ADHD, and my choices are to wait in a room for two and a half hours or keep track of paperwork? I mean... isn't the look of panic on my face right now enough to call it a diagnosis?" Anyway, the paperwork is in my glovebox. [So if I text you and ask if you've seen it, please tell me it's in the glovebox.]
Two other changes around here. First, I was fucking sick and tired to death of the cats. They expelled every kind of waste in every kind of place. One of them was aggressive toward Lochlan (and regularly swiped food from him). They'd dig food waste out of the garbage, making a mess all over. They had fleas (I don't even know how they got them! They were indoor cats!) that wouldn't respond to any type of medication, powder, or treatment (and I spent hundreds of dollars), and the fleas were eating Lochie alive. I weighed all my options, trying to balance being humane with not losing my everloving mind. So now they are outdoor cats. They basically just live on the back porch, and we feed them, and they have a comfy pillow fort, and all seems to be well. It is WONDERFUL not to have to step in cat vomit, let me tell you.
And on the clean-house front, we've been talking for ages about whether we could afford someone to come in and clean. It seemed indulgent. It seemed expensive. It seemed silly. But right when we were talking about it again, my grandma moved. She had a house cleaner my aunt had recommended, and with Grandma's move, I realized this woman may have an opening in her schedule for us. So we hired her. It's been terrific! She does a lot of stuff that we rarely had time to do, like scrub the bathtub. And she does stuff that we do have time for, which frees up our time for other stuff. So it's both given me time and inspired me to organize a bit, de-clutter, repair some things, etc. Sweetie was noting that since she's been coming, we've both been doing a better job of keeping it maintained. It's like there's a baseline cleanliness, and we're stepping our maintenance efforts up to keep it at that baseline. Our house has never been filthy, but definitely cluttered, and there were some things that went neglected. But it's getting better, and it feels better. Maybe it is indulgent, but it's worth it.
All for now. Take care.
CM
Zadie is doing pretty well in school, although she missed two days this week for pretty spurious reasons. She just did a how-to talk about how to make a lanyard, and this month's project is a biography. She's doing it on Michelle Yeoh (the actress who rose to fame in martial arts films). She still spends a lot of time with the younger neighbor girl, which is nice. I know where she is, who she's with, and what she's doing, but she's entertained.
She's starting to ask for a little more privacy -- closing the door to her room and such. And I notice she's been reading a lot of the American Girl books I've gotten her on how to take care of her body and deal with social situations. She has asked for a bra, and although there's no *physical* reason to, I'll probably grab her a couple sports bras on her birthday. If nothing else, she can wear them under her karate gi to prevent chafing.
Lochlan is growing and changing, too. In the last couple months, he rapidly grew taller, so that his pudgy baby belly stretched out, and he's now a lean and lanky little boy. He is such a helper: he loves to stand on his "learning tower" in the kitchen and help me make dinner. He likes to pick tangerines off our tree. He will take his plate to the kitchen after dinner.
He's as sweet as ever, only where it was all physical once -- pats, hugs, kisses -- now it's kind words, too. A few days ago he said "You're a good grandma" to my mom. She said he was a good grandson, and he answered, "I am!" He tells us he loves us, blows kisses, says "thank you" and "I'm sorry." If I gather him up to put his jammies on, he'll tell me, "I need a story from my daddy." When I'm done singing him songs at night, he'll wrap one arm around my neck and announce, "I grabbed you! So you can't go away."
His burn from November is all healed, and he doesn't have to go back to the doctors about it anymore. He does have a pretty big, raspberry-colored scar on his upper arm (maybe the size of a half-dollar). We massage it with oil (they said it would help it heal), and he likes to get the oil on his finger and do some, too. The less-severe burns on his hip and ribcage are all but invisible, but the upper arm is kind of ropy and keloidy, and I suspect it'll be around for a long time. But healed! Healed is good!
We're getting close to the end of nursing (I know -- he's old. Don't care.) Some days we don't nurse at all. Once in a while he'll still get two sessions in. But I decided we were close enough that I could go see about medication for my (self-diagnosed) ADHD. I'm only telling you this because there's a punchline coming. I went to the doctor's office, got my paperwork, and sat down (it's a drop-in clinic). About 20 minutes later, someone said, "Any new intake patients here?" About five of us walked up, and she announced it would be 2 1/2 hours before we were likely to be seen. So we could stay, or we could go and just bring our paperwork back next time. I was thinking to myself, "I'm here to be evaluated for ADHD, and my choices are to wait in a room for two and a half hours or keep track of paperwork? I mean... isn't the look of panic on my face right now enough to call it a diagnosis?" Anyway, the paperwork is in my glovebox. [So if I text you and ask if you've seen it, please tell me it's in the glovebox.]
Two other changes around here. First, I was fucking sick and tired to death of the cats. They expelled every kind of waste in every kind of place. One of them was aggressive toward Lochlan (and regularly swiped food from him). They'd dig food waste out of the garbage, making a mess all over. They had fleas (I don't even know how they got them! They were indoor cats!) that wouldn't respond to any type of medication, powder, or treatment (and I spent hundreds of dollars), and the fleas were eating Lochie alive. I weighed all my options, trying to balance being humane with not losing my everloving mind. So now they are outdoor cats. They basically just live on the back porch, and we feed them, and they have a comfy pillow fort, and all seems to be well. It is WONDERFUL not to have to step in cat vomit, let me tell you.
And on the clean-house front, we've been talking for ages about whether we could afford someone to come in and clean. It seemed indulgent. It seemed expensive. It seemed silly. But right when we were talking about it again, my grandma moved. She had a house cleaner my aunt had recommended, and with Grandma's move, I realized this woman may have an opening in her schedule for us. So we hired her. It's been terrific! She does a lot of stuff that we rarely had time to do, like scrub the bathtub. And she does stuff that we do have time for, which frees up our time for other stuff. So it's both given me time and inspired me to organize a bit, de-clutter, repair some things, etc. Sweetie was noting that since she's been coming, we've both been doing a better job of keeping it maintained. It's like there's a baseline cleanliness, and we're stepping our maintenance efforts up to keep it at that baseline. Our house has never been filthy, but definitely cluttered, and there were some things that went neglected. But it's getting better, and it feels better. Maybe it is indulgent, but it's worth it.
All for now. Take care.
CM
Sunday, January 15, 2017
In my 40th year
...I took a lot of selfies, which I noticed as I tried to collect those pictures of the kids a couple weeks ago.
Anyway... here they are.
Anyway... here they are.
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| February |
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| March |
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| April |
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| May |
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| June |
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| July |
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| August |
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| November |
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| December |
Friday, January 06, 2017
Sea Ranch visit, January 2017
Or as Lochlan calls it, Sea Banch.
Well, we did our best to clean up the house before the housekeeper comes (what a cliche!), then packed and headed out of town. We were on the road a bit after 11, which is just what we’d planned.
The GPS kept telling us there was slow traffic, stopped traffic, and obstructions in the road, but actually it was pretty smooth sailing. We stopped in Santa Rosa and ate at the “Warm Puppy Cafe,” which is attached to the Charles Shulz skating rink. It was decorated with Peanuts characters, but otherwise was pretty unremarkable overpriced skating rink food.
Most of the rural drive was over, and we quickly got to the old Coast Highway part of the drive, which is LOVELY if not relaxing. I mean, it’s along the coast, and just green and ocean waves off to the left, but there are a thousand curves, and a lot of them are meant to be taken at 20.
We got our key at the rental office, then popped into the grocery store for some dinner stuff (rigatoni, sauce, and a baguette). Then it was another fifteen minutes or so back to the actual house, which was hard to find. But we settled in, and it’s lovely! A big living room with comfy chairs and a long window seat with pillows. There are a ton of books, DVDs, games, and CDs all over the place, and actually rather a good selection (well, most of the books are schlocky, but the DVDs have a plethora of choices).
The kids watched a little TV and Sweetie snuggled in the bed while I made dinner and listened to Elvis Costello.
Note to self: the cider we tried tonight, Strongbow cherry blossom, was a treat!
The kids watched a little TV and Sweetie snuggled in the bed while I made dinner and listened to Elvis Costello.
Note to self: the cider we tried tonight, Strongbow cherry blossom, was a treat!
We tidied up and relaxed a little again, then popped into the hot tub! It was really nice — I think we all enjoyed it, but then it started to rain, so rather than getting our towels and things soaked, we ran in.
Now it’s cocoa/ginger ale/bitter lemon cocktail and some more cartoons before bed.
Tuesday:
Now it’s cocoa/ginger ale/bitter lemon cocktail and some more cartoons before bed.
Tuesday:
We had a rough night’s sleep, as we often do on vacation (and somewhat less frequently, but still fairly often at home, sigh). We were up for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night, all of us, and this morning found Lochlan in the king bed with Reza and me in a twin in the room with Zadie. I got up first and made coffee, but everyone else was up soon after (I might have — oh, I’ll just say it — I farted really loud and woke them all up!).
We went out for breakfast at a place in Gualala called Trinks, and it was really good! I was initially thinking we might grab some bagels and eat breakfast here, but we only have three more mornings, and I’m hoping to try the Two Fish bakery as well, so I think we might just continue having breakfast out! Lochlan had a scone (delicious — I ate a healthy chunk of it, as he seemed uninterested), Azadeh had eggs and toast, Sweetie had eggs and toast and bacon, but gave his bacon to Lochlan. The coffee was good, and the menu was really interesting. My breakfast sounds crazy, but it was terrific: warm lentils with two eggs any style (I went with over easy), avocado, feta, green onions, cilantro, and pickled radish. I could eat another bowl of it right now!
We stopped in the fancier grocery store (Surf) and got crackers, bread, cheese, olives, hummus — just stuff to snack on around the house. Then we decided to go to the beach while it was still only sprinkling, as the forecast called for heavier rain later.
We stopped in the fancier grocery store (Surf) and got crackers, bread, cheese, olives, hummus — just stuff to snack on around the house. Then we decided to go to the beach while it was still only sprinkling, as the forecast called for heavier rain later.
We saw a sign that said “Shell Beach,” so we pulled in, but the small parking spot was just off the highway, and the GPS seemed to indicate that we were actually still a ways from the water. We tramped down a path for a quarter mile or so, and Lochlan was slow, so I picked him up and carried him. We hit a street with the walking path marked on it. That seemed… odd. Like, could we have driven down that street and gotten even closer? The path wasn’t heading straight to the water, either — it was at an angle. I decided to see if we could get closer to the beach by car, and we would try to meet Sweetie and Az, who were going to keep walking. If it didn’t work, we’d meet back at the little parking lot.
Loch and I followed road after road, all of which had “no beach or bluff access” signs on them until we gave up and went back to the lot. Ten minutes or so later, Sweetie and Az joined us. It had been another quarter mile or so, but they did hit a beach and played around for a bit. I’m sorry we missed it, but tomorrow we’ll plan better to find a more accessible beach.
Loch and I followed road after road, all of which had “no beach or bluff access” signs on them until we gave up and went back to the lot. Ten minutes or so later, Sweetie and Az joined us. It had been another quarter mile or so, but they did hit a beach and played around for a bit. I’m sorry we missed it, but tomorrow we’ll plan better to find a more accessible beach.
We came back here, fooled around, had some lunch, soaked in the hot tub for a long time, and finally got Lochie down for a nap. Azadeh is watching Star Wars “The Phantom Menace,” which is so awful, but she’s happy.
Lochlan was delighted to be in the hot tub. I’m not even sure why, but he just laughed and laughed, popped bubbles, and periodically announced “it tickles!” He bounced around on me, grabbed my boobs, called himself a baby kitty and baby airplane, and mimicked Azadeh, pushing off the side of the tub yelling “blastoff!” Once, in a high-pitched voice, he said, “The baby kitty fell in the water! Help! Help!” I grabbed him and he laughed.
Tuesday evening, it was revealed that we had miscommunicated slightly. Sweetie thought I was getting dinner stuff at the grocery store, and I thought we were going out for dinner. When I got the baby down for his nap, I drove to Gualala to grab some stuff.
Tuesday evening, it was revealed that we had miscommunicated slightly. Sweetie thought I was getting dinner stuff at the grocery store, and I thought we were going out for dinner. When I got the baby down for his nap, I drove to Gualala to grab some stuff.
Back home, I made minestrone soup, and while it simmered we had an appetizer hour with crackers, cheese, hummus, olives, and ginger ale for the kids and cocktails for us.
In the morning (I drugged the kid, so we had good sleep), we had a little coffee at home, then went back to Trinks. Sweetie felt silly saying it, but had the “Big Boy Breakfast,” whereas I had the “Little Guy” version (eggs, potatoes, and toast, and his came with bacon). The kids had “the Standard,” eggs and toast, and split a side of bacon. It was all really good. I especially liked their jam.
In the morning (I drugged the kid, so we had good sleep), we had a little coffee at home, then went back to Trinks. Sweetie felt silly saying it, but had the “Big Boy Breakfast,” whereas I had the “Little Guy” version (eggs, potatoes, and toast, and his came with bacon). The kids had “the Standard,” eggs and toast, and split a side of bacon. It was all really good. I especially liked their jam.
Then we went to the beach again. Last night I searched beaches that were easier to get to, and Stengel Beach and Pebble Beach both sounded good, so we tried Stengel. It was breathtaking — the waves crashing over rocks out in the surf, striated cliff rocks thrust up out of the sand, a waterfall, and little caves full of abalone shells, sea glass, serpentine… We explored a bit on the south end of the beach, but the waves looked like they were getting higher, so we walked a touch north to the sandy parts. There was one of those little creeks crossing the beach to the ocean, and the first time, I kind of waded across, getting my socks and shoes wet. So on the way back, I thought I might jump it. It was a little higher, and though the sand was obviously eroding away from the creek, I still assumed I could get a good purchase for a short jump. I was wrong. My last step crumbled the sand, I lost momentum, hit a rock with my right foot, and my right ankle gave way under me and I hit the beach. I stood up quickly but then I stood very still for a few minutes trying to assess the situation. I think I lightly sprained my ankle, pulled my achilles tendon a bit, and bruised my shin where it hit the sand. It’s not awful — lord knows I could have broken it — but it is painful and I’m hobbling around.
We made just one stop on the way home, at the Sea Ranch Chapel. Sweetie’s whole estimation of it (he stayed in the car) was a very deadpan “Oh. It’s whimsical.” Yeah, well, I like whimsy. The kids went in with me, and I admired as I did when I was a teen the abalone shells embedded into the plaster of the ceiling, the stained glass, the lovely fountain outside, the carved wooden benches…
We went back to the house and rested for a while. I iced my ankle (and tendon and shin), and after a little while, the kids and I went into the hot tub again. After a lazy afternoon and lunch, I got the boy down for a nap and drove to Gualala for dinner stuff (pizzas) and dessert (lemon cheesecake and fudge). Then I came back toward our place, but instead of going directly home, I checked to see where Twofish Bakery is. I had looked it up before we left, and I thought it was close, but I didn’t realize how close — we’re about half a mile off Annapolis on Timber Ridge Road, but the very next street off Annapolis is where the bakery is.
We had also noticed a sign that said “Annapolis Winery” with an arrow pointing down the street. I initially thought it might be fun to go do a tasting or buy a bottle, but I wasn’t set on it. But Sweetie had encouraged me, so I decided to check it out. It was farther than I thought, too — eight miles — but even that isn’t so far. However, on windy, hilly, cliffside roads, it took longer than normal. When I was thinking about writing this, I thought I would say that sometimes I need to get out of the house because I rarely get alone time, or because the kids had been loud, or something else. But the truth is, although I do like some alone time and some quiet, I also love driving winding coast roads with my music loud.
We made just one stop on the way home, at the Sea Ranch Chapel. Sweetie’s whole estimation of it (he stayed in the car) was a very deadpan “Oh. It’s whimsical.” Yeah, well, I like whimsy. The kids went in with me, and I admired as I did when I was a teen the abalone shells embedded into the plaster of the ceiling, the stained glass, the lovely fountain outside, the carved wooden benches…
We went back to the house and rested for a while. I iced my ankle (and tendon and shin), and after a little while, the kids and I went into the hot tub again. After a lazy afternoon and lunch, I got the boy down for a nap and drove to Gualala for dinner stuff (pizzas) and dessert (lemon cheesecake and fudge). Then I came back toward our place, but instead of going directly home, I checked to see where Twofish Bakery is. I had looked it up before we left, and I thought it was close, but I didn’t realize how close — we’re about half a mile off Annapolis on Timber Ridge Road, but the very next street off Annapolis is where the bakery is.
We had also noticed a sign that said “Annapolis Winery” with an arrow pointing down the street. I initially thought it might be fun to go do a tasting or buy a bottle, but I wasn’t set on it. But Sweetie had encouraged me, so I decided to check it out. It was farther than I thought, too — eight miles — but even that isn’t so far. However, on windy, hilly, cliffside roads, it took longer than normal. When I was thinking about writing this, I thought I would say that sometimes I need to get out of the house because I rarely get alone time, or because the kids had been loud, or something else. But the truth is, although I do like some alone time and some quiet, I also love driving winding coast roads with my music loud.
It was a gorgeous drive! A lot of it was enclosed by dense trees, but at times, the view opened up over a huge valley with fog rising from the pine trees, grazing sheep in a meadow, and the platonic ideal of a farmhouse to the east. When I got there, a woman opened the door. I hadn’t checked the hours (the internet here is SO SLOW dude), so I called out, “Are you even open?” She said, “we weren’t, but we are now!” I walked in and she explained that they’re normally open until 6 (it was a little before 5), but no one had stopped by in a while, and she was having guests for dinner, so she was trying to sneak out a little early. I said I didn’t want to keep her, and I could just go, but she protested. “No! It’s a long drive over that hill! I’m going to make it worth your while.” And she did — she was charming and funny, and we did a lovely full tasting, from a rose to a Barbera to a Zin, a Cabernet Sauvignon, and finally a Zin Port. She kept saying, “this one is my favorite.” She even told me that she, upon tasting the Port, had quit her job and moved here to work for them.
I came back here, we had some pizza, the kids played for a while and we listened to Frank Black, and then I put Lochie to bed. We set up the game “Ticket to Ride” and played. Z was trying SO hard to be a good sport, even as she fell behind, but she did get in a couple unfortunate digs, like asking whether we had skipped her turn, or whether her dad had really earned all the points he’d moved his marker to.
She’s been kind of a pill this trip. I mean, it’s only… maybe 20 percent of the time? But when she’s being awful it feels like your life is on fire. I go from fantasizing about adopting her out, to fantasizing about sending her to boarding school, to just actually planning to send her to summer camp again so I don’t have to deal with her this summer. We’re trying to help her focus on using “kind words” (instead of verbally abusing us all the time), and today for whatever reason (or more likely, no reason) she said her dad was “being a jerk.” He gave her a time out, and the rule is that hers are 8 minutes. But being kind, he only gave her 4. Still, she complained, she yelled insults, she came out of the room again and again. We increased the time, started it over if she came out, etc. But she was in such a foul mood that even me saying “Dude! Just sit in there and read and relax. You LIKE to read” didn’t get through to her. The half-hearted and sarcastic-sounding apology she gave later may have included the phrase “but you were being a jerk,” which never goes over well.
I came back here, we had some pizza, the kids played for a while and we listened to Frank Black, and then I put Lochie to bed. We set up the game “Ticket to Ride” and played. Z was trying SO hard to be a good sport, even as she fell behind, but she did get in a couple unfortunate digs, like asking whether we had skipped her turn, or whether her dad had really earned all the points he’d moved his marker to.
She’s been kind of a pill this trip. I mean, it’s only… maybe 20 percent of the time? But when she’s being awful it feels like your life is on fire. I go from fantasizing about adopting her out, to fantasizing about sending her to boarding school, to just actually planning to send her to summer camp again so I don’t have to deal with her this summer. We’re trying to help her focus on using “kind words” (instead of verbally abusing us all the time), and today for whatever reason (or more likely, no reason) she said her dad was “being a jerk.” He gave her a time out, and the rule is that hers are 8 minutes. But being kind, he only gave her 4. Still, she complained, she yelled insults, she came out of the room again and again. We increased the time, started it over if she came out, etc. But she was in such a foul mood that even me saying “Dude! Just sit in there and read and relax. You LIKE to read” didn’t get through to her. The half-hearted and sarcastic-sounding apology she gave later may have included the phrase “but you were being a jerk,” which never goes over well.
Things smoothed over a bit, so the kids and I went in the hot tub. She flung herself across it, bumping my hurt leg. I asked her to be careful, and she replied with, “well, my leg is hurt, too.” “I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m just asking you to be careful of mine.” It strikes me sometimes how narcissistic she is — she must be the center of attention. I can’t even have a hurt leg without her having a worse injury — debilitating! Her leg feels like it’s going to fall off! Shortly afterward, I twisted an unlabeled dial. It turned her jets down and mine on. She immediately complained that her jets were too low. We fussed with it a bit, but the only acceptable setting for her was full-power on her jets, none on anyone else’s. Okay, fine, who cares, right? But after about ten minutes, she was sitting on the edge, not even in the jets, just with one foot dangling near them. I scooted over to try them out and she complained that it was her corner. So ultimately, I can’t have jets on my side, and I can’t use her jets even when she’s not using them. She’s just selfish, quick to anger, cruel with her words, really thoughtless of others, and… well, kind of a jerk.
A few months ago I read a book called Neurotribes. There was a chapter about the movie Rain Man, and many parents of kids with autism thought the movie had been really helpful. If their kid had a meltdown in public, they could say, “Have you seen Rain Man? He has that.” But Hoffman’s character is charming, gentle… We need an Asperger’s movie about a character who’s a complete asshole. Then I can be like, “Have you seen American Psycho? She's got that.” Still wouldn’t help us, who have to live with her, but it’d be something.
A few months ago I read a book called Neurotribes. There was a chapter about the movie Rain Man, and many parents of kids with autism thought the movie had been really helpful. If their kid had a meltdown in public, they could say, “Have you seen Rain Man? He has that.” But Hoffman’s character is charming, gentle… We need an Asperger’s movie about a character who’s a complete asshole. Then I can be like, “Have you seen American Psycho? She's got that.” Still wouldn’t help us, who have to live with her, but it’d be something.
Thursday:
Lochlan woke up pretty early, but he and I managed to chill without waking everyone else. They got up around 8, and I was hungry, so before long, I loaded up the kids and drove to Twofish Bakery. I got two sticky rolls, a morning bun, a pain au chocolat, and a scone. Sweetie had one sticky bun, and the kids and I split 1/3 of everything else. In my estimation, the sticky bun was in the top 5 I’ve ever had, as was the morning bun. The pain au chocolate was good, but not outstanding (the pastry was terrific — buttery and flaky — but the chocolate was sort of skimpy). The scone had good flavor but was a tad dry. We also got a couple coffees, since I can’t get the coffeemaker here to work properly.
Anyway, we relaxed here and read for a while. I commented to Sweetie that even though we don’t have an ocean view from this place, it’s really lovely to be surrounded by trees. The big picture windows have a long window seat, and the view is all trees. It was our first sunny day, so soon we headed to the beach. We went back to Stengel Beach, and I hobbled down the stairs (my ankle is still pretty tender) and we all went to the south end, where there are some little coves full of rocks and shells, and we just poked around, picking up interesting bits, and admiring all the mussels and barnacles and things on the rocks. We even saw one lovely anemone.
We used the castle and octopus molds to make sand creations, and Lochie stomped on them. Azadeh took pictures with the new camera she got for Christmas. Sweetie adventured just a little further than the rest of us to see another cove and got his shoes soaked. We walked back up north after a little while, past the waterfall, and goofed around in the drier sand under the sun. Soon, Sweetie and Azadeh called me. I came over, and he said he thought they’d seen a whale spouting. I looked for several minutes and didn’t see anything, and I was so sorry to have missed it. But then we saw it again! I was so excited! In all the time I’ve spent on the coast, I’ve seen all kinds of things, even dolphins, and once we saw a sea lion up VERY close. But never have I seen a whale. It looked like a small one, both because it was pretty close to shore, and because it’s head popped up a little and the head didn’t look that big. But still — COOL!
Anyway, we relaxed here and read for a while. I commented to Sweetie that even though we don’t have an ocean view from this place, it’s really lovely to be surrounded by trees. The big picture windows have a long window seat, and the view is all trees. It was our first sunny day, so soon we headed to the beach. We went back to Stengel Beach, and I hobbled down the stairs (my ankle is still pretty tender) and we all went to the south end, where there are some little coves full of rocks and shells, and we just poked around, picking up interesting bits, and admiring all the mussels and barnacles and things on the rocks. We even saw one lovely anemone.
We used the castle and octopus molds to make sand creations, and Lochie stomped on them. Azadeh took pictures with the new camera she got for Christmas. Sweetie adventured just a little further than the rest of us to see another cove and got his shoes soaked. We walked back up north after a little while, past the waterfall, and goofed around in the drier sand under the sun. Soon, Sweetie and Azadeh called me. I came over, and he said he thought they’d seen a whale spouting. I looked for several minutes and didn’t see anything, and I was so sorry to have missed it. But then we saw it again! I was so excited! In all the time I’ve spent on the coast, I’ve seen all kinds of things, even dolphins, and once we saw a sea lion up VERY close. But never have I seen a whale. It looked like a small one, both because it was pretty close to shore, and because it’s head popped up a little and the head didn’t look that big. But still — COOL!
I told Lochlan, "I like to be very quiet and listen to the waves." He held up the castle mold and said, "I like to hold this and make sandcastles!"
The kids dug and rolled in the sand, and I looked at stuff on the beach (rocks, shells, a bit of coral, some jellyfish — one which looked just like a doll shoe — and crabs, and a strange creature that looked like a deflated navel orange).
From there, we went to Gualala again and checked out the toy store. It was cute, and we got away with only spending a few bucks on each kid. Lochlan got a Paw Patrol figurine (he says it like “Popeeto”), and Azadeh got some Pokemon cards. The owner of the store happened to mention that he had 15,000 Magic the Gathering cards, to which I had to summon a face that expressed that it was impressive but not abnormal. Inside, I was thinking “HOLY SHIT!”
We asked the proprietor if there was a bookstore, and he was very happy to tell us about Four Eyed Frog books, which was about two blocks down. The shopping center it was in was much bigger than it looked from the street, and we had to climb a set of stairs to get there (my ankle is protesting, and back here at the house, I’ve entirely stopped going in the loft after the kids). But the bookstore was so cute. It was small, but really nicely decorated, with several places to sit, carpeting, and nice displays of literary fiction and a charming little kids’ section. I found a few things I wanted (although all the literary fiction is already on my wish list, and my birthday is next week), and so did the kids, and so did Sweetie. He did NOT get out of there cheaply.
I left with Lochie first (Azadeh was having a hard time making a choice) and we stopped to look in “Anabel’s Boutique,” which had cute used clothing. I got him a little fleece one-piece suit with a sort of gnome hat. But he was dying for the much-too-big, silver lame girls’ ballet flats. He was so upset that I wouldn’t get them that he burst into tears and refused to come down the stairs. He must have been tired, because he fell asleep in the car almost immediately.
Unfortunately, that meant we had a hard time getting him down for a nap. It’s a ten minute drive between our place and Gualala, so his nap was about nine minutes, but that’s generally enough to make him think he has HAD HIS NAP and is DONE, thank you very much. Still, we eventually got him down, and got in the hot tub again!
We spent about two hours in there (and when L got up, we brought him in, too). It’s been so much fun to soak that we even started thinking up audacious plans to take a hot tub camping.
I left with Lochie first (Azadeh was having a hard time making a choice) and we stopped to look in “Anabel’s Boutique,” which had cute used clothing. I got him a little fleece one-piece suit with a sort of gnome hat. But he was dying for the much-too-big, silver lame girls’ ballet flats. He was so upset that I wouldn’t get them that he burst into tears and refused to come down the stairs. He must have been tired, because he fell asleep in the car almost immediately.
Unfortunately, that meant we had a hard time getting him down for a nap. It’s a ten minute drive between our place and Gualala, so his nap was about nine minutes, but that’s generally enough to make him think he has HAD HIS NAP and is DONE, thank you very much. Still, we eventually got him down, and got in the hot tub again!
We spent about two hours in there (and when L got up, we brought him in, too). It’s been so much fun to soak that we even started thinking up audacious plans to take a hot tub camping.
We rinsed off in the shower, then got dressed and headed to Gualala again. We decided to try Taqueria del Sol. I almost missed the entrance — there are few street lights in the town, so if your headlights aren’t aiming at it, you can’t see it. It was nearly empty, but by the register was an older gentleman in a cooking apron holding a very small baby girl. A little boy stood near him, and Azadeh and Lochlan both tried making friends with him. The boy had the funniest stance — like a pro soccer player exhausted by the banality of the interviewer talking to him. And when they asked, “do you want to be friends,” he said no. Still, they got high fives.
We ordered dinner and got it quickly. It was tasty, if pretty standard taqueria fare. We finished up and headed out the door (hurrying a little, as at 6 another man turned the “open” sign around). As we neared the car, the older man came out with the little boy (he was probably 3 and a half). He explained, “He does want to be your friend. He didn’t mean to say no. He’s been crying about it!” The kids both quickly said they were friends and he shouldn’t cry, and with one more round of high fives, we were off.
We decided to head to the Gualala grocery once more, mainly for road snacks for the trip home and matches for the fireplace (story to follow). It’s kind of a strange place. Everywhere we’ve been in Gualala has been more or less filled with rich older white people, many carrying expensive cameras. The place is crawling with Volvos and Lexuses. But the Gualala grocery was filled with old guys with missing teeth, 18 year olds with waist-length dreadlocks, and a host of people who would have looked right at home at the Greyhound station. The upstairs (which just had some toys, candles, and vitamins mostly) was populated by a number of blond, lank-haired children running around with Splenda packets, snatching balls out of the ball bin, and then disappearing behind a small curtain. You could set a zombie movie in the Gualala grocery is what I’m saying.
Also, for whatever reason, Azadeh lost her gotdamn mind in the store. She was acting like the Coneheads* — like she was from another planet and just experiencing an Earth grocery store for the first time, but trying to play it cool. She’d see something like, I don’t know, Go-gurt and GASP in delight. We were like, “CALM THE FUCK DOWN, BRO” but in more appropriate parent-y language. But seriously.
Also, for whatever reason, Azadeh lost her gotdamn mind in the store. She was acting like the Coneheads* — like she was from another planet and just experiencing an Earth grocery store for the first time, but trying to play it cool. She’d see something like, I don’t know, Go-gurt and GASP in delight. We were like, “CALM THE FUCK DOWN, BRO” but in more appropriate parent-y language. But seriously.
(*Autocorrected originally to Boneheads, which made me laugh, and was also accurate.)
Okay, here’s the story — we’ve been staying in VRBOs off and on since Z was little. We’ve done several in Oregon and one in Hawai’i. And every one has been pretty well-equipped. They had coffee makers, dish soap, extra blankets… And while this house is beautiful, and spacious, and comfortable, it’s somewhat oddly equipped. For example, we’re here for four days, and they gave us a shot-glass-sized thing of dish soap. They invited us to have a fire and left plenty of wood, but only two matches (and no kindling or fire starters). There are four of us here for four days, there’s a hot tub and showers, and we have four towels, no spares. They said to feel free to use the laundry machines, and also to please start a load before we leave, but left us one laundry pod. I don’t know if it’s just a matter of not having stocked up on things, but it’s been a little frustrating.
Anyway, we then headed back here and put Lochlan to bed, then let Azadeh play and read for a while, and now she’s in bed, too.
It’s been pretty dreamy to look up through the redwoods at a half moon, to spot Venus and Orion in a black sky, to see the sun blazing through the fog, cut into rays by the trees, and to relax in the real comfort and quiet with nothing to do. I was making a pro-con list in my head of this place vs. Santa Cruz, and Santa Cruz tends to have warmer weather and more stuff to do, but I have been pretty happy here with nothing much to do at all. The only real drawback is the drive. Oh, and that everything here is super-expensive. I wanted to pack food to bring, but Sweetie said we should just play it by ear. We have, but we’ve also spent like $60 on dinner ingredients from the grocery store each night. Ahem… the other grocery store. The one with the Volvo people in it.
That’s pretty much the wrap-up, I think. Oh — a dog walker probably saw my boobs today. We’ve been skinny-dipping in the hot tub, and we had made some noise right before we got out (Azadeh keeps forgetting my leg is hurt, and, like, standing on it). I had told Sweetie earlier that the only people who could see us were one set of neighbors from a pretty high window, and the occasional vehicle driving by if they happened to look up. And that’s only in the 30 seconds it takes to get from the door down to the hot tub. Once we’re in, you can’t see anything. But…. I forgot dog-walkers. A dog walker is not in a vehicle with the windows rolled up, so he can hear you. And he will look up. And it’s going to take him two full minutes to completely round the corner, and he will look up the whole time. So I popped up, popped down, waved a friendly wave while pretending to be very short and standing still behind a low wall for no apparent reason, and then tried to wrap myself in the towel before my journey back up the stairs. Ah well — grandpa got a peep show.
Last morning. We dressed and snacked and tidied and started a load of wash and one of dishes, and stripped the beds (we think of ourselves as houseguests in these VRBO type places, so we try to be good guests), and double- and triple- checked to make sure we hadn’t left socks under the beds, and then we packed the car and headed out. We stopped at Twofish Bakery again, because OMG the sticky rolls. Then we drove one last time to Gualala, gassed up the car, turned in the keys, and turned back around, heading south down the coast highway. The drive is a half-measure more terrifying in that direction because you’re on the ocean side the whole time, which means if you crash, it’s more likely to be a flipping-through-the-air situation than a bouncing-slightly-off-the-mountain one. However, for some reason (maybe the lack of rain, maybe the different route we took, or maybe the shorter lunch stop, the trip was about an hour shorter, so that’s good!
Anyway, we are all decompressing and putting things away, and we all miss the beach (and I think we all miss the hot tub, too).
Sorry this is so long. I still write this blog more or less for myself, because I just like to write, and I really enjoyed sitting in the comfortable chairs with the view of the trees through the windows, typing away.
Sorry this is so long. I still write this blog more or less for myself, because I just like to write, and I really enjoyed sitting in the comfortable chairs with the view of the trees through the windows, typing away.
Sunday, January 01, 2017
New Year 2017
2016 has been sort of universally reviled, and for good reason. I'm not sure I'll ever quite stop being sad about David Bowie and Prince. I know celebrities die all the time, but until now, it had kind of been like old people (George Burns -- sad, but expected) or the occasional tragic young person (Kurt Cobain -- tragic but rare). But 2016 seems to have marked a point where a whole lot of artists who were icons to us Gen Xers are passing away.
Worst, 2016-wise, was the election of Donald Trump. I mean... I hate that guy. I hate that so many people in this country DIDN'T reject the hatred, Islamophobia, homophobia, misogyny, etc. that Trump represents. I fear the next four years.
On the other hand, on a personal level, we've had a pretty good year. Both kids were heathy (despite L's serious burn, which is now almost healed). Our jobs were safe, and we even both got raises! Our house has gained in value, slowly, and we were able to refinance this summer to a 15-year loan with a lower payment! (My main goal is to not have a house payment when we retire, and I pretty much made that happen with the refi.) Azadeh started behavioral therapy in January, and she has made slow, steady progress ever since. We've gotten her an aide at school (perhaps temporary), which has helped a lot. She moved up to the Junior class in karate and did a seminar in board-breaking! Lochlan started pre-school and thinks his teacher is awesome. He is also pretty much the sweetest child ever to have lived.
We also had some great trips -- to the Academy of Sciences, to Santa Cruz, to the redwoods for camping with the family, and to Eugene for Thanksgiving.
These are super-duper out of order. Enjoy.
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