Altoids and cats and steel wool, not all together.

Dude! They have finally released the first vegetarian Altoids! I can have Altoids again after 15 freakin' years! Like, the last time I bought Altoids, the only place you could find them was at import stores like Cost Plus. Anyway, the mini-version has no beef gelatin at all. I have been pepperminty since my Target visit last night!

So, why does my cat have to obsessively do one of the things I hate most in life? I am not crazy about the sound of emery boards. I also hate things touching my teeth, like forks. The idea of combining the two, emery boards touching my teeth, is so vile and horrific that I actually shudder and have nightmares about it. I've been known to gag a little. So why does my cat, if I don't keep the emery boards locked away in a cabinet, always find them and begin chewing on them, loudly, right in front of me? I saw her doing it earlier, shrieked, and grabbed the thing out of her mouth. Jesus, yuck! It's like she knows it drives me batty so she must find a way to do it. Blech.

Sort of on the same topic, I don't really like steel wool. I don't like touching it, and I certainly don't want to have to be in prolonged contact with it. Guitargirl sent me this list of helpful "Heloise"-like tips earlier, and one of them was to cut your steel wool pads (actually she was suggesting the brand-name SOS pads) with scissors to make them last longer. Are you kidding? CUT STEEL WOOL WITH SCISSORS?!?!?!?! Sure, why don't I just use a cheese grater on my head after that? Then we can all chew on some emery boards! And maybe rub sand on our eyes. Fucking household hint masochist! I will not join your cult of the thrifty!

By the way, I know I used too many, but the question-mark-exclamation-point I used earlier? That's called an interrobang. Cool, huh? ?! Interrobang ?! Interrobang! INTERROBANG!!!!! IN-TERR-O-BANG!