How I got my panties in a twist

Some 21 year old on MySpace came to my band's page, apparently listened to the songs, and left a rude comment about one of the band members' technical skills, indicating that we should replace that member. Initially, I was just curious to know about this person, so I went over to her page, noticed that about half of her comments were by other bands, and that they ranged from things like "Huh? Well, sorry you didn't like it." to "Screw you hippy." I quickly realized that this chick just goes around leaving mean comments on other people's pages for attention, and, in so many words (and a couple more), I told her so. I also deleted her as a "friend," deleted her comment, and thought that was the end of it. I also fumed a little. But then I found out that she'd messaged us again indicating that we "needed to learn how to take criticism." Unfortunately, the band member that the "criticism" was initially aimed at had gotten the message and sort of figured out what happened. I fessed up. But I also fumed all day. Here's why.

1. When you attack a band member, you're not just attacking someone I play music with, you're attacking a friend, in this case a friend of almost ten years.

2. We don't need to learn to take criticism. Sounds childish, maybe, but it's true -- nobody thinks we're going to get a major label to sign us or anything, and we didn't send this chick a CD for her to criticize. The music is for fans, friends, and maybe more than anyone, for us. We have fun. That's what it is.

3. Furthermore, if we DID receive a bad review from, say, an ACTUAL CRITIC, we'd have to be respectful about it. I get that. But this chick's not a real critic. Real critics have a responsibility to be honest, even if that means saying that a band isn't that good. If they pulled their punches, they'd lose respect because their readers wouldn't be able to trust them. So when Christian Keifer gets around to reviewing one of our shows, we'll take it like Gynas. But not random MySpace girl. We have no obligation to take criticism from her.

4. Furthermore, if Christian Keifer were to give us a bad review, it wouldn't be "You suck, get a new bassist." It would probably be couched in more respectful terms like "The Gynas' fun stage presence and clever lyrics are somewhat undercut by their technical skills." And you know what -- probably true. Won't be adding it to the ol' quote sheet, but we'd accept it.

5. She's 21. What does she know?

6. Not to defend, but those songs were from a live show that we didn't know was being recorded, two of the songs were brand new and we'd never played them in public, and we broke a string in the middle of one.

7. I used to be in her position -- sort of. I ran a site called "Your Mama's Scene," and I "reviewed" plenty of bands. Now, mostly I went to shows I knew or suspected I was going to like, so the reviews were overwhelmingly positive, but I was honest when I didn't enjoy a show, too. However, I didn't then cut and paste my review and send it to the band. "Hey, you guys stink!" In fact, the one time that a bad review of mine got to the band (to Warren Bishop, for the record), and I met him later at Skip's and found out he'd disagreed and his wife had been angered by it, I apologized and admitted that it wasn't really my kind of music, and that's why I probably hadn't gotten it.

8. I stand by my original assessment that she needs therapy. What does it mean that she appears to spend HOURS on MySpace, berating people for not sending her messages and sending bands negative comments about their music (I looked several of them up)? That she's an attention whore and doesn't mind if it's negative as long as she gets it.

9. To even SUGGEST that the Gynas replace a member is antithetical to the idea of the Gynas. We're not just a band, we're a trio, we're friends, we're co-conspiritors. If a member leaves and the two other members end up playing with another musician, it may be a band, but it won't be the Gynas.

10. She says she only hears about 6 chords: Allow me to quote our song "Monkey," "You say we don't enunciate, you say we don't articulate. Hey isn't that only three chords? F---- you and your monkey." Yeah, we kinda know it, but self-deprecation should be somewhat of a defense, shouldn't it?

11. It was just mean. If I went on her site, basically uninvited, looked at her pictures and left a comment like "Say, I've been looking at your pictures, and to be brutally honest, you're pretty homely. Have you considered plastic surgery?" Everyone would admit that was mean and uncalled for. Well, that's what she did about our music. And even though it's fun and lighthearted, we do care about our music, and it's hurtful for people to randomly attack it.



On a completely different note, one of our neighbors has gotten a rooster. It crows in the morning, and has kind of a strange crow -- which explains why I woke up from a dream that a retard was singing Danzig's "Mother."