Jeff the arrythmic drummer

Drum mayhem
Originally uploaded by outsidecontext.

(Note -- this photo was just randomly stolen from Flickr)

So, here is why Jeff the arrythmic drummer gets on my nerves.

1: He doesn't seem to get that we are interested in doing a tune a couple times to work on it and get it right. He just wants to pound through songs one after the other.

2: Drumming is hard. I get that. I can't do it myself, and I'm impressed with anyone who can. But let's be honest: it's not as important if a drummer knows a song as it is if the guitarists do. With a drummer, you can say "Give us a rock beat in 4/4 time, at about this tempo." With a guitarist, you can't really just go "Hey, do you know Nickelback's Photograph? No? It's really easy, it's just like 'broww neeow woowweewwooowwooo.'" He keeps wanting to do songs that he knows and that we don't, which doesn't work that well.

3: Arrythmic doesn't entirely describe him. He can keep a beat... for a while. But the problem is, when we REALLY get in a groove, like when we're playing our super-long version of "Hey, Joe," he gets so... into it, that he goes into, like, a drum trance and closes his eyes and just hits the drums whenever he feels like it. Often the drum beat retards severely at this point (and that's a music term, not a "special needs" joke), leaving us trying to match him, but it doesn't work very well.

4: Dude. I'm not a guitarist, but I understand the importance of a guitar solo. Don't drum over the guitar solo. Can he even hear it? 'Cause usually right in the middle of the guitar solo, he starts a drum solo.

5: He gets high, which I don't have a major problem with, but then you have to talk to him when he's fucking high. Case in point. "Okay, here's the song." (Plays it on the CD player.) We all listen and appreciate. We look at the chords. We say, "Okay, shall we try the song then?" We pick up our bass & guitars, and look to Jeff. He says "Guys, I don't know what song we're doing! You gotta tell the drummer what song we're doing!" "Uh, dude, it's "Because the Night." Jeff: "I don't know that one." Us: "Yeah, we JUST listened to it." Jeff: "What is it now?" Us: "Because the Night, you know... *we sing*" Jeff: "Oh that one!"

Case in point #2.
Eric: So, starting at the end of this month, Mock's got a class on Thursday nights for eight weeks. What do we want to do?
Matt: Well, let's pick another night.
Mock: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are out for me.
Jeff: Tuesdays are good for me.
Mock: Tuesdays are bad for me. They're out.
Jeff: Yeah, Tuesdays are great, 'cause I don't have my kids on Wednesday morning.
Eric: Yeah, but Mock can't do Tuesdays.
Jeff: Aww, man, you guys gotta respect that I'm a single father, I'm the only single dad. On Wednesdays I can sleep in because the kids are with their mom and I don't have to get them up to go to school.
Matt: Yeah, yeah, man. What are some... other days that work for you?
Jeff: How about Thursdays? What's wrong with Thursdays?
Eric: Well, Thursdays are what we do NOW, but Mock's got a class starting.
Jeff: Oh, oh cool. What about every other week?
Eric: No, her class is every Thursday.
Jeff: Oh, see that works, every other week, then!

And so on... after about another five minutes we finally wrapped it up.

Sigh. Skye, I miss you... I miss the Gynas.