Ode to Dr. Pham

gab6
Originally uploaded by thepipes.

I owe it all to you, dear Doctor Pham,
What I feel, and how, today, I am.
I only made the desperate phone call
You, June Pham, take credit for it all.
Just earlier today I was congested,
and now I find myself content, well-rested.
You see, my allergies do take their toll;
over my brain they constantly steamroll.
No, not simply my eyes, my ears, my nose --
my allergies affect me scalp to toes.
My nose was red, drip-dropping like a drain.
My head was pounding, sounding like a train.
But now, my eyes are clear, my nose is dry.
Now, because of Dr. Pham, Oh I,
I have a scrip for Zyrtec, and a bottle
and now my husband need no longer coddle
my whiny ass. Oh no, she called it in,
and hours later -- “Let the sun shine in!”
I had a bottle in my hand. Its label
nearly knocked me underneath the table!
For there, to my surprise, the count was numbered:
not ten, like last year, but ONE HUNDRED!

And where I expected to see Refills: None
God bless her, there it was -- Refills: One.





Oh, fuck, dude, I’m SOO happy. I swear, last year I got ten pills, so I had to carefully ration them, and only take my Zyrtec on days when I was really suffering. They were like emergency allergy pills. Maybe she’s new. I don’t ever go to the doctor, so after my last guy retired, I haven’t been in to meet the new doctor yet. I bet she’s like my age, and hasn’t been in the profession long enough to realize you’re supposed to carefully mete out the expensive medication and try to convince me to use Flonase or Claritin (I might as well snort Pez and tongue Tic Tacs for all the good those do).

Yay!!!!!