You learn something new every day

I learned something from the Playboy Playmates, and now there's a good chance that you'll learn something from me!

First of all, I would like to say that I was not actually watching that show with the playmates. I often sit here and play on the internet while the TV is on, but if you asked me what program was on, I wouldn't even know. I just like background noise. I wish I were all zen, and like "Oh, I love the sounds of a silent house," but that's not me. Anyway...

Last year at school, the kids were teaching me slang in exchange for me teaching them vocabulary of a higher register. I learned lots of things, like what a scraper is, what stunnerz are, what it means to thizz... but I never quite got the hang of "ghost riding the whip." They explained that it means letting the car drive itself while you get out of it. But why would you do that? I asked. Do you put a brick on the gas pedal? Do you just let it drive until it hits something? Are you abandoning the car? Deciding that I was hopelessly unhip, they just sighed and shook their heads. I really didn't know why you would jump out of a moving car, especially if it were yours!

But as I looked up the other night, some trashy blondes on the TV screen were walking alongside their Lexus SUV and doing a very white sort of booty-dance. It was taking place at exceptionally slow speeds, like an automatic transmission that is in drive when you take your foot off the brake. I thought to myself "Who are these ditzes, and what the hell are they doing outside that car?" And just then, the girl explained! She was ghost riding the whip! That's what that means!

In light of that, I realized I had seen it before! On 65th street on the way home to my old house, I saw several teenagers in a car in the left hand turn lane slow down well before the limit line. They were maybe 15 yards back and almost came to a stop. I had my eye on them (hey, it's a crime-ridden area, and you never know when someone's going to do something stupid), so I watched as about four teens got out of the car, walked along side it as it rolled toward the limit line, did a halfhearted dance, then got back in. At the time, I thought it was a really odd and slow sort of Chinese fire drill (I apologize if that's insensitive, but I don't know another term for it), but in retrospect with my new Playboy knowledge, it all makes sense!

So, now you know what ghost riding the whip is. I suspect it would be a lot more difficult in a stick shift like mine, but I also have no desire whatsoever to try. I wonder if the originators of this unusual fad dance better, or if the whole point is a sort of lame and arrythmic booty shake? I guess I'll never know.