It is 6:47 am on the first day of vacation

and I am a cranky Oedipal-expletive-deleted. Why? I coughed up something resembling Oscar the Grouch yesterday, and since that's usually pneumonia's big-flashing-sign-of-here-I-am-ness, I call the doctor. They want to see me at 3:30, which means I'd have to leave work early, which is really not feasible. They say okay, well, we'll send a message to your doctor's office and have them follow up with an appointment.

Dr's office calls. The message is more or less "Call us at this number between 6 and 7 tomorrow and we'll get you in." Great, I think. That's easy. So I set the alarm, get up at the ass-crack of dawn, and call the number, which, because it is a SPECIAL number, I am sure will get me through directly to that office. No. It's just the regular everyone-and-their-grandma number, and I have to listen to them say "Due to a high call volume, we are experiencing long wait times. If you are calling for a regular appointment, you may wish to call back at a later time. If you are calling regarding an illness, please stay on the line" approximately five billion times (because they play the blasted recording every 3 seconds --- the other three seconds are 2-5 notes of Muzak). My estimated wait time was 6 minutes, but I was on hold for about 12 before anyone picked up. And when they did? They have no appointments today, but can send a message to my doctor's office, but they won't get it until Monday. In the meantime, I can speak to an advice nurse...

Yeah, speaking to the advice nurse generally means answering the same question 67 times (Yes, I am having chest congestion. Yes, I am asthmatic, but it is usually managed well. No, I'm not having chest pain. No, it is not severe shortness of breath. Yes, I can get a deep breath. No, I don't feel it's an emergency. Yes, I'm drinking plenty of fluids. Sure, let me describe the shit I'm coughing up to you again...) I've had that conversation a lot. Several times, the advice has been to rest and hydrate, and then two days later I'm in the ER for chest X-rays and a killer antibiotic. I told him to forget it. I'm going to rest and hydrate, and see what happens. I haven't coughed up anything particularly nasty since last night, so maybe it was an anomaly.