My words!!!

A few months ago, I was talking about a new word I'd made up, recyclemmings, to describe the people who got faked into thinking it was recycling day just because some other people had mistakenly put their bins out. At that time, I mentioned there was a woman who wrote for the paper who made up words like that, but that hers were all really lame. Now, you can judge for yourself! These were in today's paper:

1. Absentdater: adjective. Regularly putting 2006 on your checks and other dated material when it's actually 2007.

2. cogiwater: verb. To ponder or meditate on whether to water your lawn during winter. (Usage: I cogiwatered. Is the lawn brown because it's dormant or should I turn the sprinklers on?)

3. snifflenoid: noun. To be a person who is extremely fearful of catching an illness from the snifflers, coughers, and sneezers who seem to surround you at work and home. (Usage: I washed my hands 10 times today because I was being a snifflenoid.)

4. snovocation: noun. The skier and snowboarder's prayer for snow at Lake Tahoe.

5. V2: abbreviated noun, short for vacation squared. The vacation you need to recover from the vacation you just had, especially one without any relatives.

Okay, for reals: I am obviously not a grammar nazi, but I am an English teacher, and let's start with #1. First, not an adjective. The word itself sounds like a noun, as in "I am an absentdater." But the definition is for a verb, because "putting" is a verb, and that is what your definition says it means. Perhaps you meant "absentdating?" Hard to say. Also, useless. A simple "oops" will suffice. Number two is at least the right part of speech. It's just utterly useless. You would say (because you are talking about your lawn, you boring motherfucker) "I don't know whether I need to water or not." The end.
Number three is also pretty useless. And the definition would be more accurate to its noun status if she just removed "To be" from the beginning. I can see how #4 might be interesting if I were a skier. And if you said "I need a V2" to someone, you would then have to add "A V2 is a vacation squared. It means I need a vacation to recover from my vacation." So, you know, it elongates what you're trying to say rather than getting to the point.

But I think recyclemmings and white herring could catch on. I really do. "I had to pull a white herring at work, because I had shit to do, and I didn't want my cube-mate talking at me all day." "The recyclemmings were out in force last night --- blue bins all down my street."