So the other night when my neighbors were over, we all talked about crazy lawn lady. She lives across the street from me and has essentially a putting green in her front yard. She waters twice a day and spends hours out there, sometimes on her knees, tending to the lawn. If that weren't weird enough, she has a screechy voice and a twitch. We've lived here for two years and she's avoided eye contact with me until recently.
Well, she spoke to me the other day. I thought she was finally being friendlier, but it was a ruse. It went like this:
CLL: Oh, she looks so cute in pink. How old is she now?
Me: Almost five months.
CLL: And who's going to take care of her when you go back to work?
Me: My mom. She's retired and she lives close by. It's good to have someone I know I can trust, you know?
CLL: Yeah, yeah... Say, did you see anyone do anything to my lawn?
Me: Huh?
CLL: Well, there's this dead patch! I don't know what could have happened. It looks like someone poured something on it.
Me: Well, it's been pretty hot...
CLL: Lawn doesn't just die!
Ooookaaay. I know lots of people who WANT to pour something on her lawn, just because it's so freakin' perfect. Sweetie is really bothered by her, and the other night we drove down our street, him pointing out all the other lawns, green, but with dry patches, and going "Nice... nice... nice... nice... nice... nice..." and then we get to CLL, and he goes "Crazy!"
Okay, onward and upward. I got a really nice gift from one of the gals on my parenting forum, apropos of nothing. Zadie got two new onesies (an Alice in Wonderland one and one with a skirt, both handmade), a felted headband, and I got tea, two necklaces, a pair of earrings, and some yarn and crochet hooks! Isn't that spectacular?
On the food post the other day I said I'd never had Criollo chocolate, but I went to Corti Bros yesterday and found some, so now I've had it. It was a Terra Nostra organics Double Dark Truffle bar. It was good, but it didn't change my life or anything.
I had band practice last night. Jeff the arrhythmic drummer was weird, as always. He was talking about how he was at a friend's house looking at his computer, and Yahoo Personals was up on the screen, and he sent some chick a message like "Hey, I'm on my friend's computer..." Isn't that kind of odd? And he invited her to band practice, but she wasn't coming until after 9, so I didn't meet her. He also told us a long story about how his friend ended up telling him to F off, and he's like "Have you ever had a friend do that?" No, man. I didn't add it's because I'm NORMAL and have NORMAL relationships. My life isn't all filled with crazy drama, thank goodness.
Okay, I guess that's it for now. Off to try some more Criollo chocolate and see if it changes my life tonight.
1 comment:
What a waste of water. Although I cannot stop laughing at her assertions that lawn does not just die. I guess not when you are on your knees tending to it...
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